


All's Fair in Love, War, and Politics

by littleboxesofstars



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: (it's college so mark does drink alcohol like....once), Alternate Universe - College/University, Drinking, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Pining, Romance, Sharing a Bed, Slow-ish burn, Swearing, this is just your fave fluff fic tropes standing on each other's shoulders in a trench coat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-24
Packaged: 2019-04-18 05:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 33,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14206515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littleboxesofstars/pseuds/littleboxesofstars
Summary: In an impulsive moment of weakness, Mark agrees to a bet set by Bob and Wade. He has to be elected class president at his university to win, so to save his hair he now needs a way to get his name out there so that people will vote for him. As luck would have it though, he ends up catching the eye of the school’s radio DJ.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is a repost of a fic that I wrote roughly a year and a half ago, and posted to my tumblr (@doseofantiseptic) I've recently decided I'd like to move a few of those fics over here. It isn't my best work (it's a little old, and I've improved since) but I like it okay, and I hope you like it too! I started this fic before tyler and ethan joined the squad full time, which is why they're not here and it's matt and ryan instead

“Wow, this is a first. I thought I was the only one who liked the waffle station in the cafeteria.”

Mark turned, surprised. Since he was the only person standing in front the waffle maker–which was already an unusual thing to do at half past noon on a Wednesday–he had to assume that the voice from behind was talking to him. He was met with the sight of a young man about his same age, height, and wearing one too many wristbands, bright green fringe peeking out from under his red beanie. He had an empty plate in one hand and his phone in the other, giving Mark a little smile.

“Sorry?”

“I’ve just never had to wait in line before.”

His eyes were so blue, and his eyelashes were so long, and it wasn’t until the word “before” that Mark noticed something else.

“Your voice–”

“Is it familiar?” The green-haired stranger asked, the smile on his face growing a little bigger. That was better than any of the adjectives that Mark’s mind had been giving him–cute,  _oh my god_ , and Irish–so he nodded.

“Yeah, I’m that loudmouth asshole on the university’s radio station.” He slipped his phone in his pocket, sticking out his hand. “My friends call me Jack, and you can too.”

“Oh, thanks.” Mark took the handshake, about to give his name in response when the waffle maker dinged. It caught him off guard, nearly forgetting to let go of Jack’s hand as he turned around to put the waffle on his plate.

“Are you just now getting food?” Suddenly his roommate Wade was next to him, a plateful of fries, a burger, and a slice of pizza in his hand. “Hurry up! We still haven’t talked about if you want to put a mini fridge in your bedroom.”

Mark was ushered away as soon as the waffle was on his plate, barely having time to even glance back. Jack had one eyebrow raised, an amused expression on his face. Mark turned his attention to his friend as they found a place to sit, only half paying attention to what Wade was saying. By the time he glanced back at the waffle maker, Jack had disappeared.

Mark was a third year college student, about three-fourths of the way through a biomedical engineering degree, so it surprised him that he had never seen or heard of Jack and his green hair until now.

“Oh, yeah.” Wade said, waving a hand dismissively when Mark asked about him, the two of them walking to their off-campus apartment. “Lots of universities have their own radio stations. I’ve never tuned in to ours, but I hear it’s popular. You could probably find it on the school’s website.”

The topic was dropped once they reached their apartment, Wade pushing the front door open. Mark had spent his first two years of college rooming with his friend Bob, but Bob had wanted to ask his girlfriend Mandy to move in, and after she said yes Wade had been kind enough to offer up his own place. It was a nice apartment, with a faster internet connection, larger rooms, and higher rent.

Mark retreated into his room, wanting to search the internet for a cheap mini fridge and finish his biology homework when he remembered what Wade said about the university radio station, going to the school’s website. Sure enough, a link was there. He could listen to it through his computer, plugging in his headphones when it was time for Jack’s segment to start.

“Top of the mornin’ to ya laddies!”

Jack’s voice was loud, explosive, and happy, and it made Mark smile. “I’m your DJ, Jack, and welcome back to ‘What the Jack’, where I play the weirdest, most eclectic music you’ve ever heard. Sort of. I try to at least; this damn school likes to censor me.”

The curse word was covered poorly with a cough, making Mark laugh out loud.

“Speaking of censoring, for the first song we have an amazing cover by one of my favorite bands–a band that’s cost me run-ins with management a good amount of times now, but honestly it’s worth it every time just to expose them to you. Sometimes physically. Please enjoy: Take On Me, a bomb cover by Ninja Sex Party!”

Then the song played, Mark making a mental note to check out this band, sexy party ninja or whatever, in his spare time. When the song was over Jack came back on, making a few jokes and horribly dated references as a lead-in to whatever he was playing next. It went on like that for the better half of an hour and Mark genuinely enjoyed it, leaving the station playing as he began his biology homework. A good amount of the music that came on was stuff he had never heard of, and some of it definitely wasn’t to his taste, but Jack’s commentary was enough to make up for it.

“We’ll be taking a few callers, and then I’ll do my shout out of the day to wrap up!” Jack announced. “Call in to the show and ask me a question.”

He rattled off the station’s phone number, Mark even pulling his phone out of his pocket in consideration before shaking his head. He didn’t know what he would say, or ask, or anything; he was bound to just embarrass himself.

“Hello! I have my first caller in! Can you state your name?”

“I’m Ginny and I love the show!”

The girl was shouting, Mark wincing and pulling out an earbud.

“Now, Ginny, the only person here that’s allowed to be as loud as you’re being right now is me.” Jack said. “Inside voices, please. That’s your question?”

“Your hair is green, so I just wanted to know if green was your favorite color!”

“That’s an excellent question, thank you. Actually, my hair is only green because that’s what color my twitter theme is right now. My favorite color is actually red. I know–it doesn’t make any sense. The color is just nice and bright is all.” Jack chuckled, and it made Mark smile. “Next caller!”

“Hey bros, it’s Felix!”

“Felix!” Jack shouted back. Even Mark knew who Felix was: the largely popular president of the student body. He and the pursuit of his now-girlfriend Marzia, the university’s shy valedictorian and Italian exchange student, had been all over social media the year he had run for office, and many people considered it to be a large factor in his election success. Mark didn’t know any details of what a student body president actually did when it came to things like influencing the university, but he didn’t have any complaints, so though he didn’t know Felix personally, he supposed he liked him fine.

“What’s your question?” Jack asked, the smile on his face audible.

“I just wanted to know if you could go ahead and remind everyone about the upcoming Student Representative elections. Sadly I’ll be graduating, so we’ll need a new president for next year.”

“Sure thing, buddy. What are you and Marzia’s plans after graduation? Us mere mortals will have to live on without this university’s favorite power couple.”

“Oh!” Felix laughed. “I’ve got a job across the country, and I’m going to ask her to move with me. Don’t tell her though; it’s a secret.”

“My lips are sealed.”

“Thanks. Remember, Rep elections. Stay awesome bros.”

“You heard the man!” Jack exclaimed as Felix hung up. “Student Rep elections. If any of you out there want to boss us around next year, make sure to send in an application to start your campaign. All of the prerequisites and the submission link can be found on the university website.” Jack led into another song, some electronic bop that had Mark bouncing his leg. It ended abruptly, a short moment of silence before Jack spoke up.

“Alright, time for my daily shout out. This shout out is to a guy I met today. Now, I don’t know who he is–we talked a bit at the waffle station in the cafeteria. I told him my name, but he didn’t return the favor. I don’t think it was his fault though; he held onto me a little too long when we shook hands, and I know you’re not supposed to judge a man by his handshake, but I’m pretty sure that means he’s completely in love with me. Which I am totally up and down for, because he was definitely a looker. So this one’s for you, handsome waffle stranger.”

Jack signed off, and Mark could feel his face completely burning up as James Blunt’s “You’re Beautiful” began to play. It was him, undoubtedly, that Jack was talking about. Calling him handsome, and telling it to the entire student body. It was flattering, and a good ten minutes passed before Mark’s ears returned to their normal, unabashed color.

Mark took to listening to the university’s radio station every evening after that. Jack’s program came on twenty minutes after Mark’s last class of the day ended, and he tried at first to listen to it and eat dinner at the same time, but after choking rather painfully on some macaroni and cheese after trying not to laugh, Mark decided that the food could just wait.

He didn’t see Jack around again in person, but somehow Jack saw him. He never said hi, Mark only finding out when the DJ would, on air, mention spotting him walking around campus. By the end of the week, Mark had earned himself two more shout outs, Jack playing both Five Seconds of Summer’s 'She’s Kinda Hot’ and Meek Mill’s 'All Eyes On You’. Without fail, any mentions of himself on the radio station caught him off guard and made his face heat up, because listeners had begun ringing in and telling Jack that the two of them should date.

“I don’t even know his name.” Jack responded, a mock wistful tone to his voice. Then he laughed. “Don’t blow this out of proportion, guys. I just think he’s cute.”

Mark was grateful that Wade didn’t listen to the radio, because he would know who it was Jack kept talking about and wouldn’t let Mark hear the end of it. The last thing he needed was more ammo for the smack talk that occurred when they played video games together. Things had the potential to get out of hand, which was why they often invited Bob over to play with them, aside from the simple fact that he was a good friend; he was a good moderator. Usually.

“Oh, suck a dick.” Bob said with a sigh, letting his controller drop into his lap. Mark just laughed, unable to hold in a grin.

“Have you won a single match? Either of you?”

“Shut up!” Wade shouted from the kitchen, having heard his statement.

“You know, I didn’t think I was good at Mortal Kombat, but I guess I am.” Mark stretched his arms over his head, dishing out a full cheesy smile at the glare Bob was dealing him. “Or maybe you guys are just bad.”

“Okay, so what?” Bob picked his controller back up as Mark started another match. “It’s not like we’re playing for anything. The stakes are non-existent. I have no motivation.”

“Okay then.” Mark squared his shoulders, trying to think of something. It took him a whole other match to come up with something good, grinning as he told it.

“Bob, if I win this next match, the two of you have to call me 'Your Majesty’ for a week. How’s that?”

They began another round, watching Mark’s Scorpion and Bob’s Sub-Zero smack talk each other before getting into the match.

“I don’t want to be a part of any of your weird power play fetishes.” Wade protested as he walked back in the room, a bag of chips in his hand. “I’m not even playing.”

“It’s not as if you could be a king anyway, you can’t lead people.” Bob added. Mark opened his mouth in offense. “No one would even vote for you.”

“This isn’t a democracy.” Mark pointed out, a few well-timed combos cutting Bob’s health by a third. “But c'mon, that’s not true. I’m a leader. I’m the captain of the university’s Improv Comedy Club.”

“Only because Arin Hanson appointed you when he graduated. The other members like you fine, but they didn’t vote for you.”

“What, I have to prove myself now? You want me to win an election or something?”

The question was meant to be mocking, but Bob sent Mark an inspired smile.

“Yes.”

“What? No.”

“Do you think you can’t do it?” Wade asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Shut up Wade.”

“Mr. Ikea is graduating.” Bob pointed out, Scorpion receiving three kicks to the face. “We need a new class president.”

“This is stupid.” Mark protested, watching as his character got a good number of important bones broken.

“So are your leadership skills.”

That was the last straw, Mark running an angry hand through his hair. He knew this was all stupid, and Wade was laughing at him, but he was a bit too riled up to care.

“Fine. I’ll run for president. And when I win, you’ll eat your words and write me all of my scholarship essays.”

“Fine.” Bob agreed readily, the confidence in his voice shaking Mark’s resolve slightly. “And when you lose, you have to shave your head a nice shiny bald.”

“What? No!”

Wade let out a loud laugh; they all, Mark included, knew how much he loved his hair.

“C'mon, Your Majesty.”

“Fuck you guys.”

“Is that a yes I hear?” Bob grinned, not even reacting when his character’s head was ripped from its shoulders.

“I’m going to make both of you regret this.”

 

  
It wasn’t until after Mark had submitted his class president application online that he realized he had no idea how he was going to make good on his promise. He had to persuade the majority of the student body to vote for him, a feat that genuinely seemed near impossible. Nobody outside of his classes and the people in the Improv Comedy Club even knew his name.

“Uh… Give out free shit.” Matt said. “College students love free shit. Mostly food, or t-shirts, but anything will do.”

“Sounds like a great campaign strategy.” Ryan answered dryly, Mark snorting out a laugh over the phone. Matt and Ryan were his right hand men, Mark meeting Ryan in one of his classes, and then meeting Matt when the freshman joined Improv Comedy with them, not finding out until nearly three months later that the two were roommates. They were the ones he came to for brainstorming ideas, and while most of their ideas were very stupid-funny, he figured they could still be of help.

That and he didn’t have any other options.

“Just wear something really weird to all of your classes so people pay attention to you. Remember when Arin wore that Sonic the Hedgehog Dress all day? The club got seven new members, just from that.”

“Sorry, but I’m not sure cosplay has the 'responsible leader’ look that I’m going for.” Mark ran his hands through his hair, mussing it up beyond fixing, realizing a second later that if he lost, he wouldn’t be able to do that anymore. A bolt of panic ran through him. “I need something good. Something really damn good. Something tried and true, so we know that it works.”

“Nothing 'works’ in politics.” Though they were on the phone, Mark could still just about see the air quotes Ryan had put around the emphasized word.

“Plus, I am a little excited for the day I get to call you egg head.” Matt added.

“Don’t you dare.” Mark grumbled. “I will castrate you.”

There was a knock on the door, Wade shouting out “Bob’s here!” as he got up to answer it.

“I’ve got to go.” Mark told them. Bob had insisted on an extremely aggressive Mortal Kombat rematch. “If either of you think of something, please let me know. I’m on the verge of desperation.”

They promised they would, Bob greeting him with his best game face as he entered the living room. They couldn’t stay serious for long though, the match quickly deteriorating into checking out everyone’s fatalities amidst casual conversation.

“Hey Mark, have you decided on what you’re going as for that Halloween party this weekend?” Bob asked. “Last I heard you didn’t have a costume idea.”

Mark shook his head. There was a slightly less than legal costume party happening in one of the frat houses on Saturday, and after Jack gave an offhand mention that he was going to it on his show a week or so back, Mark had talked all of his friends into coming with him. Unfortunately, he hadn’t thought far enough ahead to pick out a costume for himself, and he didn’t like any of the ideas he had been able to come up with.

“No, not yet. Ryan and Matt are going as Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb, and they offered to make me a Tweedle Dumber costume, but I don’t think anyone would get it.”

Wade laughed at that, making Mark ask,

“What, do you have a costume? Last I heard you were as empty-handed as me.”

Wade gave a confident nod. “I thought of something yesterday. It’s great.”

“What is it?” Bob’s voice held a valid measure of skepticism, Wade gesturing to the clothes he had on, a simple t-shirt and jeans.

“It’s the easiest costume in the world. I’m just wearing my normal clothes, and saying I’m a nudist on strike.”

“You know…” Bob laughed. “That’s either complete stupidity or complete genius, and I honestly cannot tell which.”

“What’re you going as?” Mark asked him.

“The one and only Mario Jumpman Mario.” Bob answered. “The misses wants to be Princess Peach.”

Mark nodded, frowning. That didn’t give him any inspiration, despite the time crunch that was on him, with the party being only a few days away. He needed to hit the costume stores before all the good things were gone.

“Top of the mornin’ to ya laddies!”

Bob left just as Jack’s radio show started, Mark retreating into his room to listen.

“I’m going to be playing nothing but spooky songs today, to get into the spooky scary spirit. Halloween is tomorrow, and then the next day is the Alpha Epsilon Pi house party, of which I will be attending. I got myself a pretty sick Deadpool costume, and I love Spiderpool just as much as the next guy, so if Spiderman–or Spiderwoman, I don’t discriminate–wants to hit me up and I’m drunk enough, I’ve always wanted to give that upside-down kiss thing a try.”

 

  
Mark went to the Alpha Epsilon Pi party as Spiderman. It wasn’t because of Jack, he told himself–well it was, but only because Jack had given him the idea–but that was it. He wasn’t looking for a kiss.

He wasn’t looking for Jack either, he reminded himself as he scoped out the place. There were a good amount of people dressed as the arachnid-themed superhero, but only one Deadpool, standing and talking to what looked like a lumberjack, as well as Mary Poppins and her chimney sweep Bert. Mark wandered just within earshot, trying not to be noticed.

“You know Ken, that costume is a bit of a cheat.” Deadpool was saying to the lumberjack, his voice unmistakably Jack’s. “Just growing out your beard and throwing on a flannel shirt doesn’t make a Halloween costume. At least Felix, Marzia, and I actually tried.” He placed one hand on his chest, using the other to gesture to the Mary Poppins characters on his left.

“It may be a cheat, but it works just as well.” The lumberjack–Ken, Mark assumed–gave Jack a smirk. “And it was free, too.”

“Mark, is that you?” There was a hand on his shoulder, making him jump and turn. It was just Wade though, a cup in his hand.

“Yeah.”

“Oh, good. You’re the third spider shoulder I’ve tapped on. Bob is starting up a game of beer pong, did you want to play?”

“Sure.”

Mark let himself get led away, stealing a glance back at the group he had been eavesdropping on. He couldn’t really tell, thanks to the mask, but with his head turned in this direction, Mark couldn’t help but feel like Jack was looking at him.

Mark gradually forgot about it as the party wore on. He had a good time, talking to people and dancing a bit. He tried to keep up with Bob and Wade while drinking, but both of them were taller and bigger people than he was, and as a result he was hopelessly hammered by the time the party was ending. Bob had left some time ago and Mark couldn’t find Wade, stumbling onto the front yard of the frat house with everyone else that was going home. It was a substantial crowd, a girl in a sexy kitten costume calling out,

“Hey Deadpool!”

“What?” The responding shout was Jack’s, Mark looking around for him.

“Didn’t you say you were going to get a Spiderman kiss?”

“No Spidermen have offered.” Jack answered. The radio DJ was only a few feet away, his mask off, leaning against a tree. He wasn’t nearly as far gone as Mark himself was but he wasn’t sober either, an easy smile on his face. “But if someone wants to climb up in this tree, I wouldn’t object.”

And like that, all eyes were on him. Mark was the Spiderman closest to the tree–and the only one still there, he noticed as he looked around–but that didn’t mean…

“Go!” There were five people around him now, all pushing him in Jack’s direction. He didn’t protest, though he wasn’t sure it would have helped. Part of him wasn’t sure he would be able to hang upside-down without falling on his head, but once he managed to get up in the branches it wasn’t as disorienting as he’d thought. He wrapped his legs around the tree branch, Jack giving him an amused grin.

“I don’t know you, so if this is weird for you and you don’t want to kiss me, I can totally play it off.” Jack said quietly, stepping close. “No hard feelings.”

Mark tried to remind himself that he hadn’t come to the party to find Jack, and definitely not to kiss him, but at this moment that didn’t seem to matter.

“No, I’m game. Wouldn’t want to disappoint everyone.”

“If you’re sure.” Jack pulled down Mark’s mask so that only his lips were visible, leaning in.

“You know, this is probably the most romantic thing I’ve ever done.” Mark said. That made Jack laugh, smiling into the kiss.

It was strange, more than anything. Lips weren’t supposed to fit together upside-down so theirs didn’t quite, a cheer going up as Jack put his hands on the sides of Mark’s face. The contact was gentle, mostly for show, but Jack was grinning a little as he pulled away.

The frat house yard had cleared out by the time Mark figured a way down from the tree, and even then it had been more of a careful fall than anything else. Jack stood there the whole time, watching him in amusement.

“So.” He said once Mark was back on his feet. “Do I get to know the identity of my four AM mystery kisser?”

“I–sure.” The alcohol didn’t quite dull all of the embarrassment, Mark able to feel his face heat up as pulled the mask off. Jack’s expression went from expectant to amused surprise, his mouth opening slightly.

“Waffle stranger?”

“That’s what you call me on the radio.”

“Oh man, you listen to that?” Jack chuckled, rubbing the side of his mouth. Mark wanted to laugh too, but he had finally managed to straighten up fully, and for whatever the reason, his stomach was extremely unhappy about it.

“I didn’t even have to stick my tongue in your mouth to tell how drunk you are–how did you manage to get in that tree anyway?”

“A good magician never gives away his–” Mark had to stop, recognizing instantly that he was going to be sick.

“You okay?” Jack leaned closer, concerned.

“I think… I think was upside-down for too long.”

“Or drank too much.” Jack chipped in, just as Mark bent over, the contents of his stomach emptying onto Jack’s shoes and the ground below.

 

  
Mark’s head was throbbing as he opened his eyes. He was in a bed, and it took him another moment to realize it was not his own bed, with the comforter too fluffy and a disturbing lack of pillows. There were posters all over the walls, some for bands Mark recognized and some for bands he didn’t, a coffee maker taking up most of the bedside table. He sat up, the action made dizzying by his hangover, and he looked around the room a little more.

There was a body on the floor, curled in a ball in a mess of pillows and blankets. He had on a red t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants, but the bright green bush of hair made it obvious enough who it was, Mark assuming that meant he was in Jack’s bed. Mark still had on his Spiderman costume, the fabric now feeling extremely sweaty and uncomfortable. He got to his feet, groaning immediately and sitting back down.

The noise woke Jack, who opened one eye and squinted at him.

“Oh that’s right, you’re here.” He stretched, rolling onto his back to look up at him.

You didn’t have to take me to your apartment. “ Mark said, more embarrassed than anything. "You didn’t have to sleep on the floor like that, either.”

“Well, I wanted to take you back to your place, but when I asked you who you came with all you told me was 'a big guy, a nudist’. I wasn’t in the mood for finding a giant naked man, so I just dragged you back here.”

Mark choked out a laugh, shaking his head. He briefly considered explaining Wade’s attempt at a costume, then thought better of it.

“Sorry.”

“And then,” Jack continued, sitting up “I slept on the floor because you were so drunk that I didn’t want to leave you alone, but I didn’t want you to freak out if you woke up spooning me, or something.”

“How did you know I was a cuddler?”

Jack laughed. “You look like one.” He said, standing. “Coffee?”

“Could I ask for some painkillers too?”

Jack’s expression was a nice mix of amusement and sympathy as he nodded, walking out of the room. He came back with two empty mugs, a bottle of water, and Tylenol, turning on his coffee maker as he set the other things down next to Mark on the bed. Mark downed the meds as the coffee began to brew, unable not to ask about it.

“Why do you have a coffee maker on your bedside table? You have a kitchen, right?”

“Because coffee comes first. Before everything.” Jack grinned. “I probably have more caffeine in my bloodstream than hemoglobin.”

He rummaged around in his closet for a moment, throwing Mark a pair of shorts, which he caught, and a tank top, which he didn’t.

“I figure your walk of shame will be less embarrassing in actual clothes than a full Spiderman bodysuit.” Jack said in response to Mark’s questioning glance. “You can wash and return them.”

“You are being way, way too nice to me.” Mark had to say as a full mug of coffee was passed into his hands. Jack just shrugged.

“You’re like my mom’s dog; you’re just lucky you’re cute.”

They didn’t talk much more after that, Mark simply trying to function as best he could with the hangover he had and Jack watching him in amusement. Jack left the room to give him the privacy to change and then Mark ushered himself out the door, expressing his thanks with every few steps. He caught sight of Jack’s completely ruined shoes as he was leaving, sitting outside the apartment door, and he was unable to hold in a wince.

“I’ll buy you new ones.” He promised.

“You’d better.” Jack gave him a clap on the back. “See you around.”

 

  
“Wait, so that guy in the video kissing DJ Jack… That’s you?” Matt yelped, eyes wide. Someone had recorded his drunken Halloween kiss with their phone, and apparently it had blown up all over local social media. It made Mark glad he didn’t have a twitter account. “You kissed a guy?”

Mark shrugged. “It wasn’t that weird. I guess drunk me just needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.”

“At least it wasn’t animals.” Ryan agreed, nodding gravely. Matt gave him a look.

“Jack was really nice, too.” Mark continued. “I was completely wasted and I vomited on his shoes, but he took me to his apartment anyway and let me crash there, then gave me coffee and a change of clothes.”

“Are you sure you didn’t sleep with him?” Matt asked, sounding skeptical.

“Should I have?” Mark asked back, Ryan punching him on the shoulder. “It’s not like I was a complete stranger; we’d met before. You two listen to the campus radio station, right?”

He got responding nods from both of them, continuing.

“I’m the cute waffle guy, or whatever he calls me.”

“You’re handsome waffle stranger?!” Matt was shocked. “I called in the show the other day asking for what the guy looked like so I could try and find him.”

“I know, I heard you, and I’m grateful for how vague he was. Don’t tell anyone, please–I’d never go to class in peace again.”

“Mark.” Ryan said seriously, putting one hand on Mark’s shoulder and the other on Matt’s. “I know how you’re going to win this election.”

In short, Ryan’s idea was insane. It required acting, deception, and a large amount of cooperation from a near stranger, but as soon as Ryan began explaining it, Mark saw how it could be successful.

“Felix got the attention of the apathetic voter with Marzia, right? I mean, he could have just hit on her for a week and asked her out, but instead he sent her giant stuffed animals during class and staged an entire flash mob in the middle of campus right before the election. It was cute as hell, and he didn’t do it  _for_ his campaign, but it definitely helped.”

“So you want Mark to chase after some pretty girl?” Matt asked.

“There’s no one I really like, or anything.” Mark added. “Plus, that sounds expensive.”

Ryan waved them both away, shaking his head.

“You can’t just court someone; people would call you a copycat. You have to step it up a notch.”

“Publicly  _date_ someone?” Mark asked, pulling a face. That didn’t sound enjoyable in the least.

“You don’t have to actually date them. Just for show. Like reality TV, or something. Except without the drama, because you have to be a perfect gentleman.”

“How do I just find someone, and…” Mark gestured vaguely, not sure how to describe it. “I don’t know, do that?”

“Well, I already have someone in mind. Someone that’s pretty popular within the student body; someone that a lot of loyal listeners want you to be dating already.” The grin on Ryan’s face made it immediately obvious who he was talking about. “What do you think?”

Mark groaned, putting his head in his hands. This could either be a complete disaster or the best idea Ryan ever had, and he was desperately hoping for the latter as he stood outside the broadcasting room the next day with a shoebox under his arm. He’d thought a few times about how to ask for the favor, but at the same time he didn’t want it to sound too rehearsed, working out the main points and hoping he would just figure out the delivery when he got there.

Jack jumped when he opened the door, putting a hand on his chest.

“H-hi there.” He said, closing the door behind him. “You scared me. What’s up?”

“Sorry. I have shoes.” Mark held the shoe box out, Jack taking it and raising an eyebrow in Mark’s direction.

“You’re being weird. Where are those clothes?”

“Oh.” Mark let out a nervous laugh. He didn’t have the clothes Jack had lent them–they’d been too low on his list of priorities, and he’d forgotten about them. “I think I wore them to the Rec Center the other day.”

“You can keep them then.” Jack said with a laugh, waving a hand. “I haven’t been to the Rec Center since… Freshman year, I think? And I haven’t worn those clothes since then either.” He moved to open the shoebox, Mark stopping him.

“Now, I know I was supposed to just be replacing some regular tennis shoes, so these are going to look like a bribe, but that was only half of their intended purpose. I also just though they were cool.”

“What?” Jack spared him a confused glance before opening the box, his mouth falling open. The shoes were black leather with black laces, an LED strip around the base. “Holy shit! These are those light-up shoes everyone and their mother is talking about.” He was so surprised that it made Mark smile, until he glanced back up, squinting. “Wait. Why are you bribing me?”

“About that…” Mark scratched the back of his neck, not wanting to meet Jack’s eyes. “I’m running for student body president.”

“And you want me to endorse you on the show? Because that’s definitely worth these shoes.”

“Not quite. I got into this bet with my friends that if I don’t win, I have to shave my head. Completely. Shiny bald.”

Jack gave him a critical once over.

“That would not be a good look for you.” He said after a moment. “It would make your face look all big and weird.”

“Thanks. I know.” His deadpan tone made Jack laugh. “So, to keep that from happening I was thinking about what Felix did to win by so much of a margin, and… Would you pretend to date me?”

Jack stared at him blankly.

“I do not follow.” He said, his face complete confusion. “At all. What?”

Mark explained the way Ryan had, Jack listening silently the entire time. He set the box on the ground, crossing his arms and frowning.

“I don’t know about this.”

“Hey, I thought you said I was cute.” The statement was meant to be a joke, but it was bordering so closely on narcissistic that for a second Mark worried about being misunderstood. Thankfully, Jack laughed.

“Finding someone attractive and wanting to date them are two very different things.” He said. “I think Nicki Minaj is a beautiful, beautiful woman but I would have no idea what to do with that much ass.”

“Well luckily for you, I don’t have  _that_ much junk in the trunk. And we’re not actually dating, so you don’t have to do anything with it.”

“Right. To sum up… You want to use me to make people like you, all so you can save your hair? Why do I want you as my Student Rep again?”

“I’m not just going to sit there and do nothing if I get elected.” Mark said quickly. He knew he had to actually lead if he did become President, and had began giving it some thought. “I have some ideas about how this university could give time and money to charities, especially those dealing with mental health and suicide prevention.”

Jack raised his eyebrows. He obviously hadn’t expected that, giving him a reevaluating once-over.

“Well damn. Okay.”

He told Jack about a few more of his ideas for actions and policies, too nervous not to speak, watching the DJ mull over his offer.

“Fine.” Jack bent down, picking the shoe box back up. “Sure. I’ll do it.”

“Wait, really?” Mark had more than expected being turned down, unable to hide his surprise. “I… Thanks.”

Jack shrugged. “I mean, if it gets me more cool stuff like these shoes, I can’t exactly turn down an offer like that. It does, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Mark didn’t know. “Of course. I am sorry, again, about your other pair.”

Jack waved a hand. “Don’t worry about it. Besides, didn’t you say that was the most romantic thing you’d ever done?”

That made Mark laugh, Jack shifting the box under one arm and frowning a little.

“Hey, I just realized–what’s your name, anyway?”

“Oh! Mark.” Mark stuck his hand out for a handshake. “Mark Fischbach.”

“Well, Mark,” Jack took his hand, but instead of shaking it he used it to pull him closer, putting a feather-light kiss on his knuckles. “Pleased to finally make your acquaintance. Making your face turn that color is going to me be favorite pastime, by the way.”

He pointed, but Mark could already tell how red his cheeks were.

“What about that stuff, anyway?” He asked hesitantly. Jack raised an eyebrow.

“What stuff? We’re pretending to date, not filing for a marriage license.”

“Yeah, but holding hands, and…” He gestured. “Kissing. You know what I mean.”

That made Jack laugh. “Aren’t you getting ahead of yourself? You haven’t even asked me out yet. But I needed to be somewhere ten minutes ago, so give me your number and we can coordinate the whole thing, okay?”

“Okay.”

After putting Mark’s number in his phone and promising to get back to him soon, Jack rushed down the hall with a quick wave. Mark went to the group chat he, Matt, and Ryan were in together; the two had requested for him to get back to them as soon as possible.

_He said yes._

He got replies from both of them instantly. Matt sounded genuinely relieved, while Ryan was sarcastic.

_Great!!!!!! When’s the wedding_

_Shut the fuck up this was your idea_

_what’s the plan?_

Mark frowned at Matt’s text, realizing he didn’t know. Every time his phone buzzed he jumped to look at it, but for the rest of the day Jack didn’t get back to him. It wasn’t until the next morning that Mark saw Jack’s text to him, sent somewhere between 3 and 4 AM.

_Hey, it’s jack. Call in to the show tomorrow and ask me out. I’ll cue you in and everything._

_To: Jack  
_ _Just call in? It’ll be that easy?_

_From: Jack  
_ _Yup. You’ll ask me out and I’ll say yes and the whole campus will be very excited_

Mark didn’t know what Jack’s cue was going to be, he realized as he tuned in to the show. He didn’t try to eat, or do any homework, all of his energy focused on listening and calming the nerves in his chest. He began worrying halfway through the show that he had somehow missed the cue when Jack hadn’t mentioned him at all, a split second of panic making him gasp until he realized that the phone lines simply hadn’t been opened yet, letting out a breath and flopping down on his bed. He hoped that this fake dating thing was going to get easier–he was only on day one, and this was already more stress than he could handle.

“Now, everyone, I have some very exciting news. Just about everyone has seen the spectacularly romantic and spectacularly drunken kiss I had the night of that Halloween party, but nobody really saw what happened afterwards, so I figured I would share. After my superhero fell–yes, fell, quite gracefully–out of the tree, he took his mask off, and would you believe who it was underneath? Any guesses? Yup. Handsome waffle stranger. I promptly decided that this had to just be fate, so I asked for his name. Now, I probably should have asked at a more sober time, because at first he just told me his name was Spiderman, but I eventually got an actual name out of him. He was too drunk to remember his phone number, but I did tell him about this show I do, so Mark, by the off chance that you’re listening, hit me up.”

Jack read out the station phone number, then Carly Rae Jepsen’s Call Me Maybe began to play. Though the story was a little bit of a lie, it was more entertaining the way Jack told it, and that last sentence was obviously his cue; his name had been so heavily emphasized that it would have been impossible to miss. Mark jumped to his feet, too full of nervous energy to stay still, pulling out his phone and dialing the number. He got a busy tone three of the times he tried dialing, and when the song ended it wasn’t him on the line.

“Hello and welcome to the show, what’s your name?”

“Mark.”

“…really?”

Jack’s voice was equal parts amused and disbelieving, and Mark could hear why. It wasn’t him and that was much too obvious, the male’s voice too high and nasally.

“I’m worried, because I know I dressed as Spiderman at the Halloween party, and I know I kissed someone, but I can’t remember who. Was it you?”

“I don’t think so, but I’m going to make this simple for you Mark. How Asian are you?”

“Um… I’m not.”

“Alright then, you’re not him. Best of luck to you though–everyone has their own unconventional love story. Next caller!”

Mark managed to get through that time, met with Jack’s loud, boisterous voice.

“Hello, and welcome to the show! May I ask who’s calling?”

“It’s, um… It’s Mark.”

“Which one?”

“The Asian one.” Mark said, and Jack laughed. “But no–Mark Fischbach?”

“Guys.” Jack had a stage whisper on, his mouth close to the microphone. “This is waffle stranger guy.”

“That’s me.” Mark confirmed. “We’ve met twice now and I have something I’ve been wondering… What would you say to a date? Like… To going on one. With me.”

He stumbled slightly over the question, Jack letting out a small, surprised chuckle.

“That depends.” He said, and Mark froze. That wasn’t what Jack was supposed to say; all he was supposed to say was yes.

“On what?” Mark asked hesitantly.

“Well, what do you have planned for this date? Because no pressure, but I’m free tonight.”

Mark opened, then closed his mouth. He had no idea. The entirety of his brainpower had been focused on calling in to the show–he didn’t know he needed to have thought of this too.

“I… I would say going out and getting some coffee, since you seem like someone that drinks a lot of coffee…”

“But?” Jack prompted, a smile in his voice.

“But you probably haven’t eaten dinner yet, so I’m thinking your choice, my treat, after you get off work?”

“You want to take me to dinner  _after_ I get off? I usually do things the other way around, but for you I think I could make an exception.”

“Is that a yes?” Mark asked, the innuendo making him laugh a little.

“As long as you don’t judge me for only really wanting to go get pizza.”

“That sounds perfect, actually.”

“Then you’ve got yourself a date, Mr. Spiderman.”

Mark was hung up on, tuning back in to hear Jack chuckling a little.

“You heard it here first, ladies and gents!” He said, how audible his smile was surprising Mark. “That call took a little longer than most, so I’m going to have to sign off here.”

So he did, thanking people for listening and promising to be back tomorrow. As soon as he was finished talking Mark got a text, from none other than Jack himself.

_Youd better get down here pronto, we have some pizza to eat together._

Mark slipped some shoes on, grateful Wade wasn’t there to ask him where he was going as he hurried out the door. When he got to the broadcasting room Jack was waiting for him, wearing an oversized unzipped hoodie, jeans, and the shoes Mark had bought him.

“You ready?” He asked.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is so painfully self indulgent honestly I just love fake dating aus I'm so sorry

Mark hadn’t been on a date in a good three months, but to his surprise, he found he wasn’t actually nervous at all as he walked with Jack to the nearest Pizza Hut. Maybe because it wasn’t really a date, or because Jack wasn’t someone he was fighting to impress, but he already knew that Jack was pleasant to talk to, so while they hadn’t really hung out much, he felt relaxed.

“I didn’t know I needed to have a whole date plan ready.” He couldn’t help but complain as they walked. “I thought I was just asking you out. You put me on the spot; this whole thing could’ve been blown if I wasn’t in Improv.”

“You’re in improv? That’s cool.” Jack glanced back, slowing a little to fall in step with Mark. “Besides, do you usually not have a date plan in mind when you ask someone out? Do you just say ‘wanna go out with me’ and that’s it?”

He had a point. Eyes turned to them as they entered the pizza place, Mark frowning a little. This was not the pseudo-charming first date he had in mind.

“You know that I’m paying, right?” Mark asked as he glanced around. “This could have been just about anywhere, and you picked a fast food pizza place on campus.”

“Well, you want to publicize this disaster waiting to happen, right?” Jack asked back as he got some food. “This way everyone knows where we are, so they can see it for themselves. And I didn’t want to blow your budget. But most importantly…” They both took seats, plates full of food, Jack picking up a slice and biting into it immediately. “Don’t you dare diss pizza.”

Mark laughed a little, nodding. It was all a good idea, he had to admit. Though it was originally his plan, he had a strange feeling that Jack was running the show, and he wanted to change that. He was the one benefitting, so he was the one that needed to do most of the work.

“So, I guess we should look like we’re having a good time.” He remarked. Jack nodded, waiting until he had downed his first slice of pizza–which did not take long at all–before speaking again.

“Tell me something about yourself that I don’t know yet.”

“You don’t know a lot of things.” Mark replied, slightly confused.

“I know a few things though. I know your name, that you’re in improv, that you can climb trees, and that your roommate is a nudist.”

Mark choked on his pizza, shaking his head quickly and letting out a laugh.

“He’s not… That was his costume; he just wore plain clothes and said he was a nudist on strike.”

Jack gave him a confused glance, confessing that he didn’t understand that as he took another bite of pizza. He was giving Mark an expectant look, and it took Mark a moment to realize he had been prompted earlier to give out some trivia.

“Right, fun facts… I’m half Korean, half German.”

Jack raised his eyebrows, nodding.

“Alright. I’m full Irish, and… And Hot Fuzz is my favorite movie.”

“Ratatouille is my favorite movie, and I’m the leader of the Improv Comedy Club.”

“You’ve been in it all three years, I’m guessing?” Jack asked. Mark nodded.

“I’ve been working for the school’s radio for three years now too.” Jack said. “That’s why they haven’t fired my inappropriate ass yet. That and I’ve tripled their listeners over the past year.”

“Impressive.” Mark said. Jack just shrugged, taking another huge bite of pizza and pulling his phone from his pocket.

“What’re you doing?”

“Changing your contact name in my phone.” Jack answered, a small grin growing on his face.

“To what?”

“Markimoo.”

“Well, that’s dignified.” Mark responded, and Jack laughed. Mark took his phone out too, trying to think of an equally cutesy thing to call Jack.

“A few people have called me Jackaboy.” Jack supplied. That wasn’t quite what Mark was looking for though, thinking for another moment before laughing.

“What?” Jack asked, understandingly cautious.

“Jackaroonie.”

“Oh my god no, that’s disgusting.”

“In other words, it’s perfect.”

Jack proceeded to flip him off, the smile on his face making Mark laugh. There was a loud shutter noise to Mark’s left, accompanied by giggles and hushes. They both looked in that direction, met with a group of giggling girls, all with their phones out.

“Did you get a good picture?” Mark asked them. The one with the reddest face–who Mark assumed was the one that left the sound on–nodded and hurried over to show them.

It was the exact moment Jack had flipped him the bird, Mark looking back at him with a shit-eating grin on his face.

“Dude. Tweet that at me. That is a beautiful photo.” Jack said, looking absolutely delighted. She did then and there, Jack getting the notification a second later.

“Fucking excellent. Retweeting that.”

Jack’s phone began buzzing nonstop, Jack cursing at it under his breath until he turned the notifications off.  

“Popular?”

“Just a bit. I usually have them turned off.” Jack answered, slipping his phone in his pocket. “It’s the whole radio DJ thing.”

Their meal was over soon after that, cleaning up their table and getting ready to leave. Both of Jack’s hands were resting by his sides and Mark took advantage, stepping up behind him and lacing their fingers together. Jack turned on his heel, his eyes wide and his entire face tinted pink, Mark grinning back at him.

“Should I walk you home?” He asked, pulling him from the restaurant by the hand.

“N-no, it’s fine. What’s got you turning into Mr. Charming Boyfriend all of a sudden?”

“I’m always charming.” Mark responded, Jack just rolling his eyes. They eventually came to a crossroads, Mark needing to go one way and Jack another, deciding to part ways.

“Successful first date?” Mark asked, dropping Jack’s hand.

“Successful first date.” Jack conceded, giving him a quick high five before saying farewell.

 

  
Wade was there when he got back, instantly bombarding him with questions.

“What the hell, man?”

“Hello to you too.” Mark said, stopping in front of his friend. Wade didn’t sound mad, just confused, but Mark didn’t know why he would be either of those things, especially directed at him. ”Can I help you with something?“

"Why didn’t you tell me you’re gay?”

“…what?” Mark frowned, crossing his arms. “What are you talking about?”

“Did a different Mark Fischbach just come back from a date with DJ Jack?”

“Oh, that.” The two of them dating was fake to him, but it didn’t look that way for anyone else. “That is kind of gay, isn’t it?”

Wade gave him a look. “I can’t tell if you’re trying to be funny or not.”

“I… I just…” Mark floundered for a moment. “I just didn’t think it was that big of a deal. Unless…” He pointed at Wade, taking a small step back. “Unless you think it’s a big deal.” He loaded his second sentence with negative connotations, trying to ignore the slight guilt he had at pushing the blame from himself to Wade. His friend shook his head quickly.

“No, it’s okay, it’s just something I figured you might have told me by now, since we’ve been friends for so long, that’s all. It’s a little weird, like finding out you name is actually William instead of Mark.”

“Wade,” Mark began seriously. “I have something I need to tell you.”

“What?” Wade was both concerned and confused.

“My name is actually William.”

“Oh, shut up.” Wade laughed, sitting down on the couch. The mood was effectively diffused, Mark sitting down next to him.

“How did you know? You don’t have any social media, or listen to the radio.”

“Bob told me. He’s got a secret twitter account, apparently.”

“What does he think about the whole…” Mark gestured vaguely with his hands. “The whole gay thing?”

“He said he already knew.”

“What?!” Mark choked out. The outburst surprised Wade, so he tried to contain himself. “Did he say how?”

“Yeah, apparently you had a huge crush on some guy the two of you played computer games with in high school. Some British dude?”

Mark instantly knew who Wade was talking about–Aaron Ash, a teenager who came to his school for a semester when his father moved to the United States for work, promptly moving back to England less than six months later. Sure, Mark had said “I love you” to him a few times, but it had always been in the moment, in the game they were playing, not some outlandish profession of love.

“Who knows. Maybe I just have a thing for accents.”

That made Wade chuckle a little, leaning back and turning on the television. Mark’s phone buzzed and he pulled it from his pocket.

_From: Jackaroonie  
Official couple photo? (I like the middle finger one better though)_

There was an attachment with the message, the two of them about to leave the pizza place, backs to the camera and hands clasped. Jack was looking at him in surprise, and Mark was smiling back. It was a good picture, Mark had to admit.

_To: Jackaroonie  
Hey, we don’t look half bad together_

_From: Jackaroonie  
You know, you’re right._

 

 _  
_ It took another casual coffee date or two for the whole thing to stop feeling weird. It was weird when Mark thought too hard about it so he just didn’t, focusing on Jack instead, and being Jack’s friend. Aside from the few radio fans that found them and took a few photos, the dates themselves were fine; Jack was fun to talk to, and they clicked easily. They didn’t have to act painfully romantic, since their relationship was just in the early stages, so it didn’t have to get too awkward.

“Alright, are you free this afternoon?” Jack asked him, sliding his hand into Mark’s as they left Starbucks. Holding hands was something they made sure to do anytime they walked together, the action slowly becoming second nature.

“I think so.”

“Okay good, you’re coming to my place.”

“W-what?” Mark’s mind immediately to the worst implication possible, and Jack rolled his eyes.

“As if you’d be so lucky. No, we need to talk about stuff.”

“What stuff? You’re not breaking up with me, are you?” The question was joking, Jack smiling as he shook his head.

“It’s not you, it’s me. I need to know more about you–people on the radio have been asking. I feel like I should know if you have pets, and stuff like that, you know?”

"What we’ve been doing hasn’t been good enough?” Mark asked. It had been good enough for him, but then again the only people asking him questions had been Matt, Ryan, Bob, and Wade, and for the first two of them “hell if I know, he’s not actually my boyfriend” was an acceptable answer.

“Well, we’re trying to sell this thing, right? So it needs to be something worth buying.” They had reached an apartment building, dropping hands to climb the stairs. Mark gave Jack a look.

“You’re weirdly excited about this.”

Jack grinned, taking out his keys and unlocking apartment 302.

“I’m Jack.” He answered. “I’m excited about everything.”

The place was the same as he remembered it being the first time he was there, surprisingly bland and clean. Jack threw himself down on the couch, Mark following suit and giving him an expectant look.

“Okay, the first thing you should know about me is…” Jack thought for a moment, inspiration sparking visibly on his face. “My name isn’t actually Jack.”

“What?” Mark stared at him, and he laughed. “What is it then? Jackson or something?”

“Sean. Sean McLoughlin.”

“You are so incredibly Irish.” Mark shook his head, putting his face in his hands. If the whole conversation was going to be full of contradictions like this, he wasn’t going to be able to keep his facts straight. “I’m going to have to make notecards.” He murmured weakly, Jack bursting into laughter next to him. They spent the next hour learning about each other, about family members, favorite colors, and other trivia. Video games was a common ground that they really hit it off at, the rest of the conversation being abandoned in favor of the console hooked up to Jack’s TV. Mark always thought he had pretty bad language when playing games, but the Irishman next to him on the couch was giving him a run for his money.

“Shitballs! Get away from me, you big hairy bitch!”

“Jack, it’s just Super Smash Bros.”

Jack gave him such a strong, disapproving side eye that Mark just decided to shut up and focus on his impending victory. The victory turned on him however, and he screamed about the game being rigged for a solid minute before declaring that he had simply let Jack win, because he was such a fantastic boyfriend.

"Sure.“ Jack allotted, clearly amused. "This is the first time we’ve hung out together though, as friends. It was fun.”

Mark nodded in agreement, realizing that he was right.

"You should come over sometime.“ He said. "You should meet my friends; I think they would really like you.”

“Everybody likes me.” Jack answered, sending Mark a cheeky grin. “Campaigning is going to start soon–are you ready?”

"I guess so.“ Mark shrugged. "I mean… You’re just about the only strategy I’ve got right now, and it’s working out well so far.” He stood, deciding it was about time to go. Jack understood, standing to walk him to the door.

"Just as long as I keep getting free meals.“ Jack said.

"You’re so materialistic.” Mark complained. “Do you care about my companionship at all?” He was joking of course, but Jack fixed him with a stern look.

“Hey now. You can criticize me, or you can use me for my popularity, but you can’t do both at the same time.”

Mark laughed, and after a few goodbyes he was out the door.

 

  
"Top of the mornin’ to ya laddies! I hope you all had a wonderful weekend. I know I did. I beat Mark’s ass at video games.“

"Shut up.” Mark mumbled at Matt’s phone, both Matt and Ryan laughing. Today was the day that the student government candidates were being announced over the radio, Matt and Ryan wanting the three of them to listen to it together. Mark didn’t really want to, afraid that Jack would embarrass him, but they had insisted that his campaign was their business too, and he’d ended up coming over to their apartment.

“You two are adorable.” Ryan told him, Matt leaning his head on his roommate’s shoulder and giving Mark a cheesy grin. Mark swung an arm out, only barely making contact with Ryan’s side.

“I have a special guest on the show with me today.” Jack was saying. “My very good buddy, Felix Kjellberg! Say hi, my favorite Swedish friend.”

“Hi, my favorite Swedish friend.” Felix responded obediently, making Jack laugh.

“And what are you here for today?” Jack prompted.

“Well Jack, the applications for student government closed last night, and I’m here to help announce all of the candidates for the positions so your listeners can start thinking about who to vote for.”

“Excellent.” Jack said. “We’re going to start with the candidates for historian, and move up from there.”

They played songs and chatted briefly between the different positions offered, as well as mentioning whenever a candidate was someone they knew. Historian, treasurer, and vice president were all announced first, Jack tapping out a drumroll when Felix said it was time for the presidential candidates to be announced.

“We only have two, so it’s going to be an intense race.” Felix said. “Running for president this upcoming year are Kenneth Morrison and Mark Fischbach.”

“Oh, wow.” Jack sounded genuinely surprised. He’d told Mark he was going to pretend he didn’t know Mark was running, but Mark realized quickly that wasn’t what he was surprised about; it was the other candidate. “I didn’t know… I didn’t know about either of them. Ken’s running too?”

Jack had mentioned a "Ken” before, Mark realized–he was the lumberjack Jack and Felix had been hanging out with at the Halloween party.

“Yup.” Felix responded. “And Mark’s that boyfriend dude of yours, right?”

“He is.” Jack answered. “I’ve got to pick between my main bro and my main hoe? That’s not good.”

“I guess it’ll be a competition for who buys you the most free stuff.” Felix remarked with a laugh, Ryan and Matt losing their shit at Jack calling Mark “main hoe”. “That’s obviously the only fair way to decide.”

“That’s true.” Jack said, laughing. “Mark’s in the lead, then–I haven’t paid for a date yet. Ken, if you’re listening, you’d better hop on those bribes for my vote.”

They wrapped the show up and closed, the final song playing by the time Matt and Ryan had managed to recollect themselves, but then Matt just choked out “main hoe” again, and they were rolling on the floor.

“I hate you both.” Mark declared with a frown, kicking Matt in the butt with a sock-clad foot.

  
_To: Jackaroonie  
_ _I’ve never heard about this “Kenneth” friend of yours_

_From: Jackaroonie  
Well you should definitely be jealous. Keep an eye out._

_To: Jackaroonie  
Wait really?_

The two of them hadn’t seemed that close at the party, but that didn’t mean they weren’t, Mark realized. Was he getting in the middle of something? Was Ken going to be getting between them? Should Mark try to stop him?

_From: Jackaroonie  
No you doof. We were just roommates my freshman year. He has a girlfriend._

That still didn’t mean he shouldn’t watch out, Mark felt. Though maybe that was just his inner drama queen talking.

_From: Jackaroonie  
Speaking of Ken though, a few of his friends are putting on a party this weekend and I’m invited, want to come with?_

Checking for a moment, Mark realized he had no plans, and no reason why not.

_To: Jackaroonie  
Sure_

 

 _  
_ At first, Mark felt this would be a good idea. It was going to be a good opportunity to show off he and Jack’s relationship to multiple people at once, which was good, especially now that his candidacy has been announced. As the week wore on though, instead of becoming excited, he became increasingly nervous about it instead. Thus far in this charade, they’d only had to show affection on dates. At the party, they would have to be arm-in-arm for a lot of the time, all in front of Jack’s friends. He had to make sure his facts were straight, and the stress he was putting on himself to “not act weird” was making him sick and jittery.

“The hell is wrong with you?” Jack asked as soon as they met up to walk to the party, a concerned frown on his face. “Your shoulders are up to your ears right now.”

“I don’t know.” Mark lied. Then he let out a sigh, the two of them beginning their walk to the house where the party was being held. “I’m overreacting, and I know it, but this is going to be our first time around people that know us. I feel like your friends are going to find out."

Jack reached down and entwined their fingers, giving his hand a comforting squeeze. It seemed like such a genuine gesture that Mark felt his face heat up, realizing when he glanced away that they were just barely up the street from the house, and needed to get their couple act on.

"I’ll shut you up before you say anything stupid, so all you have to do it act like you like me. You like dogs, right?”

Unsure of where this was going, Mark nodded.

“Just pretend I’m a dog, or something.”

Mark laughed, putting on a baby voice immediately.

“Aww, who’s a good boy?”

“No. Never mind. That was a bad idea.” Jack took advantage of the way they were holding hands to use the back of Mark’s own hand to hit him on the forehead, effectively shutting him up and making him smile. “Really though, it’ll be fine.”

Mark nodded, Jack’s presence alone already easing his stress a little. Entering the frat house skyrocketed it back up though, Jack getting on his tiptoes and whispering in his ear.

“People are definitely going to pick up that something’s off if you spend the whole time acting like you’ve got a stick up your ass.”

“Okay, wow–”

“Jack!”

Mark’s retort was cut off as someone shouted out Jack’s name, the DJ looking around to try and see who it was. Then a man that Mark could only describe as large and burly rushed over, wrapping Jack up in an intimidatingly bone-crushing hug, Jack letting out a laugh into the newcomer’s shoulder. Mark still had Jack’s hand in his, suddenly feeling very much opposed to letting it go, despite it being nearly ripped from his grasp.

“Oh.” The newcomer noticed the resisting tug, letting Jack go and just wrapping an arm around his shoulders instead. “You’re Mark, then?”

“Yes.”

“This is Ken.” Jack explained, something Mark had gathered at that point. “He’s a friend of mine. Ken, this is my boyfriend Mark.”

“He seems a little grumpy.” Ken mock-whispered, an easy smile going instantly back on his face. “Any boyfriend of this tiny Irish lad is a boyfriend of mine.”

Mark gave Jack’s hand a little tug, Jack understanding and slipping out from under Ken’s arm to stand back next to him.

“You two are almost the same height! That’s adorable.” Ken’s tone of voice made the comment sound like a compliment, but the use of the word “tiny” in the sentence beforehand didn’t really make it feel like one.

“Cute as fuck.” Jack responded with a laugh. “We’re gonna walk around, alright? Catch you later.”

Ken gave them a departing salute, Jack tugging Mark further into the party.

“Okay, no need to act like a possessive asshole.” Jack told him.

“What, me? I wasn’t!” Mark protested immediately. “He’s the one that put his arm around you while I was holding your hand.”

“Yeah, because I think you were supposed to let go.”

“Fine.” Mark let his hand go then, knowing that he was acting immature but not much caring. Jack knew it too, rolling his eyes but not saying anything. They made their way over to the food and drinks, Jack reaching out for a nondescript red cup when Mark stopped him.

“Do you really think we should be drinking anything?”

“We are at a party.” Jack pointed out.

“I know, but… Last time I was drunk I hung upside down in a tree and kissed a stranger.”

“…I see your point.” Jack said, sending Mark an amused glance. Then he sighed, dropping his hand down to his side. “I can’t drink now? Mark, depriving an Irishman of his alcohol is like not letting a white girl into Starbucks. I’m going to fucking die.”

“Well, what else do you like?” Jack wasn’t being very serious, but Mark still felt bad; it was his fault. “We can see if the party has that, and if not I’ll go out and get it for you.”

Jack’s answer was decisively “cake”, of which the party had none. There were cookies though, Jack deeming them a close enough second best to keep Mark from actually going to the store. They were still standing at the food table when a couple approached them.

“Felix!” Jack exclaimed. “How’s the party?”

The class president greeted them both, one arm around Marzia’s waist, raising his voice over the pounding music coming from the next room.

“The DJ sucks.” He told them. “Plus, the room is way too small. I wouldn’t try to go and dance if I were you.”

“Thanks for the heads up.” Jack responded. “I’m not a shitty DJ, should I go in there and take over?”

“I think the school has had enough of your obnoxious accent for one week.” Felix answered, making Jack laugh. “This guy though–Mark, right?” He pointed, Mark nodding as Felix shifted his attention to him. “He has a pretty nice voice. Marzia said you sounded handsome.”

“You look handsome too.” Marzia said with a grin. Maybe it was just being on the receiving end of a compliment from such a pretty girl, but Mark felt his face heating up, grateful of the party’s dimmed lighting.

“Thank you.”

“The whole gang’s here!” The approaching voice had Mark’s smile dropping off his face. Ken walked over to them, a drink in his hand and a girl on his arm. “Hey friends.”

“Hey man.” Felix winked at Ken, getting a wink back.

“You’re not who I’m here for, my friend. Mark! Mary wanted to meet you.”

“Oh. Hi.” Mark smiled, guessing that the girl Ken had with him was the aforementioned Mary. She just giggled at him, obviously less than sober. Ken himself was about the same level of intoxicated, walking over and slapping Mark hard on the back, the action pushing him forward a little.

“I like you Mark. I do. Unfortunately… You’re my rival.” He put a heavy hand on Mark’s shoulder. “So I have to destroy you.”

“Best of luck.”

“Thank you!” Ken laughed. “I can respect that.”

As Felix had warned, the DJ was pretty horrible. Mark and Jack walked into the dance room, saw how crowded it was, and just turned back around.

“You know, parties are pretty lame when you’re sober.” Jack said, crossing his arms. He nudged Mark with his elbow. “Want to get out of here?”

“W-what?”

“Oh my god.” Jack burst out laughing, tilting his head back. “As in: let’s leave. Go get some food. I’ll even pay this time.”

“Yeah, sure.” Mark rubbed the back of his neck, Jack eyeing him for another moment before leading the way out the door.

“Your mind always goes there, huh?”

“Shut up.“

"Hey, I don’t blame you.” They stepped outside, the cool night air refreshing, the silence very welcome. “I mean, look at me.” He winked and Mark laughed, shoving Jack’s shoulder. Jack stumbled away a few steps, a grin on his face. They ended up at a fast food restaurant, each with a milkshake and some fries.

“I could be mistaken, but you didn’t seem to like my friends very much.” Jack said. He didn’t sound angry though, and Mark shrugged.

“I liked Felix and Marzia.”

“Not Ken though.”

“I have to hate him. He’s trying, indirectly, to get my head shaved.”

Jack raised an eyebrow, taking a quick drink through his milkshake straw. Mark just shrugged.

“You don’t have anything to worry about, you big doof. I wouldn’t pretend to date you if I liked someone else.”

“I’m not worried. I’m not jealous! We’re not dating, remember?”

“I do.” Jack took a huge mouthful of fries, chewing as spoke. “Don’t you fall in love with me.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that.” Mark said, giving Jack a highly judgmental look for his table manners, the expression breaking down into giggles when Jack let out a choking laugh.

 

  
That Monday was the beginning of Mark’s campaign. He wasn’t really sure what that meant he was to do, with more people knowing he was running than who actually knew who he was. Upon Matt’s suggestion he had begun wearing full suits to class, with a button pin on the front that said 'Ask me about my campaign’. It worked better than he expected it to at catching attention, with many people–mostly girls, though–approaching him to talk. From there about half of them would recognize his name from Jack’s radio show and get excited, offering to follow him on Twitter After two days of follower offers he texted Jack, saying he needed to make an account sometime soon.

_From: Jackaroonie  
…you don’t have a Twitter? What are you, my grandma?_

_To: Jackaroonie  
Hey now I have a facebook and stuff_

_From: Jackaroonie  
Oh my god, if I find out that you have a MySpace page or something I’m breaking up with you._

 

 _  
_ “The phone line is now open for your questions! I have the first caller here with me–what can I do you for?”

“When are you going to kiss Mark?”

Mark had only really half been paying attention to the radio, his pencil pausing in place when he heard his name, ears pricked. Jack was silent for a second before responding.

“What makes you think I haven’t? You guys have all seen the video, at least.”

“Yeah, but–”

“But we were drunk and didn’t know each other, I get it. Is that something you guys really want to see? Isn’t that a little weird?”

“It would be cute!”

Another skeptical silence, Jack obviously unsure of how to handle the intrusive question.

“Well, I’m going to Mark’s apartment today to set him up a Twitter account and watch a movie, so we’ll see what happens then.”

Those plans were news to everyone, Mark himself included, and he jumped up from his bed. Jack had never been to his apartment before, and as a result he instantly felt the need to clean everything and make a good impression. His room was spotless by the time the radio show was over, moving to whirlwind through the living room and the kitchen.

“What’s going on?” Wade asked. He was standing by the door, shrugging on a jacket with shoes already on his feet.

“Oh nothing; Jack’s coming over, that’s all.” He gave his friend a quick once over, noticing that he was slightly dressed up; he had tried to do something with his hair, and was wearing a polo instead of the regular t-shirt. “Where are you headed, looking like that?”

“I have a date.” Wade responded proudly. “That cute girl in my anthropology class that I told you about?”

“Oh, awesome!” Mark gave his friend a thumbs up. “Have a good time, dude.”

“Will do.” Smiling, Wade left, the door only closed for about two minutes before opening again.

“Some guy just gave me the weirdest smile on my way up the stairs.”

“Hello to you too, Jack.” Mark gave his pseudo-S.O. a look, watching as he flopped down on the couch. “Did you just not want to knock? Or even tell me you were coming, for that matter?”

“We both know you listen to the radio.” Jack deadpanned. Mark couldn’t really argue with that.

“What was weird about the guy you saw?”

“I don’t know, he just seemed extremely excited. That and he’d tried to like… Comb his hair a different way or something, but it was too short, so it just kinda stuck out…” Jack gestured around his head with his hands and Mark collapsed into giggles, realizing who Jack was talking about.

“That was my roommate, Wade.”

“The nudist one?”

“He’s not… Yeah. That one. He’s got a date tonight.”

Jack gave a thoughtful nod before clapping his hands together and pointing in Mark’s direction, the sudden energy surprising.

“Pull out your laptop! You, good sir, have a Twitter account to make.”

Going to the website and clicking 'Sign Up’ was easy enough, but their progress came to a screeching halt when Mark was immediately prompted to select a username.

“Come on.” Jack whined out after a good five minutes of staring at the blank space, the cursor blinking expectantly. “It’s not that hard.”

“I don’t know!” Mark protested back, glancing over as Jack let out a heavy sigh, leaning his body against Mark’s shoulder. “What’s your Twitter username?”

Jack opened a new tab, typing into the website bar. He was led to a Twitter profile as green as Jack’s hair, and he made a face.

“Jack Septic Eye?”

Jack shrugged. “It’s my gamer handle on Stream. What’s yours? You could just use that.”

Reluctantly, Mark typed his gamer handle into the username box, half hoping it was already taken so he wouldn’t have to use it. Unfortunately, it free.

“Markiplier?” Jack read. “What does that mean?”

“Uh, well…” Mark quickly created a password and entered in his email address. “It’s a combination of my name, and… Multiplier.”

“Multiplier? You did say you were studying to be an engineer, didn’t you?” Jack put his face in his hands. “I’m dating a giant nerd.”

“Shut up, at least mine doesn’t sound gross.”

“You’ve got me there.” Jack admitted as the new profile loaded. It was extremely bland, with no background and a small egg icon. “The first thing we’re going to need is a picture. You can change this later, but for now it should probably be a picture of you, because of the whole candidacy thing. Any good selfies on your phone?”

That process took a painfully long time, and wasn’t without embarrassment, but thankfully it was all easier from there. The overall Twitter theme was red, Mark suspecting that this came from Jack’s preference for the color more than anything else.

“Alright, we’re done. Are we done?” Jack asked. Thanks to a few sidetracking conversations it was a full hour and a half later, Mark nodding.

“I think so.”

“Cool. Good.” Jack was suddenly nervous, he way he wasn’t meeting Mark’s eyes tipping him off that something was wrong. “I’ll tweet about it for you. Free promo.”

“Thanks, but… Why are you acting weird?”

Denial was on Jack’s face for a second but he seemed to think better of it, pulling his phone from his pocket instead.

“I was thinking I could put a picture in the tweet because, well… You listened to the show, you know what I’m talking about.”

“A picture of us kissing?” Mark’s stomach flipped over just saying the words, nerves building instantly in his stomach. “I…”

“I know.” Jack said quickly. “I mean, it is a little weird but we have done it before–and you’ve kissed girls, right?”

“Of course I’ve kissed girls!” Mark exclaimed, Jack chuckling a little as he opened his mouth in indignation. “It’s just… I don’t know.”

“Yeah.” Jack frowned. “We don’t have to if it’s too much, I just thought–”

“No you’re right, it’s a good idea.” It was a good idea, giving the people what they wanted. Mark squared his shoulders, fixing Jack with a serious look. “Let’s do this.”

Jack opened his phone camera and held the device up so that both of their faces were in the frame, only to lean away a second later.

“Come on, don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like I’m going to give you a tetanus shot, or something. Act like you like me. Smile.”

Mark proceeded to put on the cheesiest, doofiest grin he could muster, Jack throwing his head back in laughter when he saw them in the camera’s viewfinder.

“Don’t look at me like that either.” He said as he straightened up, the smile on his face making Mark smile too. “Just… I don’t know. Look normal. It’s not a big deal.”

The last sentence sounded more to himself than to Mark but Mark nodded anyway, stilling himself and looking back at Jack’s face. Jack repositioned his phone, his eyes flitting to Mark’s lips, Mark letting his own eyes close as Jack began to lean in.

Instead of the kiss he was expecting, Mark felt a warm and soft pressure against the tip of his nose, his eyes opening in surprise. Jack had kissed him on the nose, the gesture so simple and so  _cute_  that Mark had to smile, not minding how pink his face had become. Jack had a slight blush too and something about it made Mark consider kissing him in earnest, pulled from the thought as Jack looked at his phone.

“I think I got the photo.” He reported, his attention drawn completely to his device, leaning his weight against Mark’s shoulder again. He put the screen up to Mark’s face for review. “Thoughts?”

“Sure.” The picture was a good one, Jack’s lips tilted into a slight smile, with the beginnings of surprise on Mark’s face. Jack nodded at the affirmation, opening Twitter and composing a new tweet. Mark got the notification on his computer a few seconds later, clicking on it, the picture big on the screen.

_Jack_Septic_Eye: hey! Everyone should go follow my boyfriend @markiplier (I think he’s pretty cute)_

Silence fell, and Jack must have noticed it too, shifting so that his upper body wasn’t leaning against Mark’s anymore and glancing over at him.

“Now what?” Mark asked.

“Well…” Jack hesitated for a moment. “I am a little hungry.”

Mark could see why; the sun had been down for a couple of hours by now, dinner time well past, and neither of them had eaten. He didn’t really feel like going out for food though.

“Want me to cook for you?” He asked.

“You can cook?” Jack asked back, unrestrained surprise on his face.

“Yup.” Mark grinned, getting to his feet. He decided on spaghetti, the pound bag of noodles in the pantry catching his eye as soon as he opened it.

“Ooh, you’re making me a romantic Italian dinner.”

“Well, there’s no one else around here to try charming the pants off of, so I don’t have much of a choice.” Mark teased back, the water coming to a boil.

“Hey now. You should be honored to have dinner with The Sean McLoughlin.”

Mark had to laugh at his self-entitled tone.

“I have been for the two months.” He pointed out, trying to sound mockingly unamused.

“And? I’m fucking lovely.”

Mark burst into laughter, turning his attention to the stove. By the time he turned back, Jack had set the table in a very romantic way, with a vase of flowers and unlit candles. He had a shit-eating grin on his face, obviously amused by himself, Mark just shaking his head and smiling back.

“You did say on the radio that we were going to watch a movie–is that what you wanted to do?” Mark asked around a mouthful of spaghetti. Jack shrugged.

“It was just something to say. I’m not opposed though; I don’t have any plans.”

“We’ve got a bunch of popcorn here, and I know Bob’s Netflix password, so I don’t see why not. Wade probably won’t be back for a while.”

Jack paused, leaning back in his chair and raising an eyebrow.

“Are you trying to 'Netflix and chill’ with me, Mark?”

“What?” Mark choked out, nearly inhaling a stewed tomato in surprise. “N-no, there’s just movies on Netflix, it’s–”

Jack burst out laughing, Mark realizing a moment later that the question had been nothing but an incredibly successful attempt to induce flustered stuttering. He scowled, stabbing at some pasta.

“Shut up.”

“I can’t. It’s too much fun.”

They finished eating and put their dishes in the sink, Mark washing them and making popcorn as Jack went into the living room to pick out a movie. When Mark reentered, two large buttery bowls in hand,  _PREDATOR_  was on the screen.

“I didn’t even know we had this movie.”

“I found the movie on that shelf over there; your roommate rented it, I guess.” Jack answered. The couch had been completely stripped of its cushions, and he lying on the floor in a nest of blankets and pillows. Mark just shrugged, handing Jack a bowl of popcorn and lying down next to him. It was evident almost immediately that this was not Jack’s first, second, or even third time seeing Predator, quoting a large amount of the movie.

“Get to the chopper!” He exclaimed as Schwarzenegger did, his voice loud and his accent horrible, making Mark burst out laughing. Jack rolled on his side, giggling as he tried to speak.

“Hey. What’s so funny man?” He kept the Schwarzenegger voice on, loud and flat, throwing a few pieces of popcorn at Mark. “I’ll shoot you with my giant gun.”

“Your impersonation is terrible.” Mark told him through laughs, throwing a few kernels back.

“Hey. Say that to my face. I dare you.”

“I already did!”

Jack made finger guns at him, timing his mimed shots with the explosions on screen. Mark reached behind himself, turning their weapons from imaginary to real as he grabbed a pillow and whipped it around, hitting Jack upside the head.

“Son of a bitch!”

The retaliation was instantaneous, Jack grabbing the oversized couch cushion on his right and swinging it in Mark’s direction. The cushion was too large to be fast enough though, Mark catching it in the air and trying to yank it away. Jack wasn’t letting go, and as a result he was pulled on to Mark’s body, laying on his chest with the cushion held up over Mark’s head. His face was bright with amusement, his smile going all the way to his eyes, blue and pretty and very close.

“Do I win?” Mark asked.

“You wish.” Jack’s voice had a lilting, playful tone, but despite his words and challenging grin he didn’t move in a retaliating way, his gaze trailing slowly over Mark’s face before returning up to his eyes. Mark gave the cushion a slight pull, Jack releasing it, and as he threw it aside he felt a tension, that strange tug that meant something could happen.

Then there was a jingling of keys at the front door, Jack turning bright red and rolling off of Mark before he could realize what was happening. The door opened, Wade strolling in, a stupid grin on his face.

“Hey.“

"Hi Wade.” It was obvious by his expression that the date had gone well, but Mark figured he should ask anyway. “How was that anthropology girl?”

“Oh, great. She’s great, Mark. So nice. So funny. So pretty.”

“That’s good.” Mark jabbed a finger in Jack’s direction. “And here I am, stuck with this asshole.”

“Hey!” Jack exclaimed. He was still blushing, though not as much a before. He turned his head to Wade, giving a greeting. “Wade, was it? I’m Jack, nice to meet you.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve heard about you.” Wade said, sending a quick smile in Mark’s direction. “Mark talks about you all the time.”

“What? I do not. Since when?”

“Since you two met, and you started asking me questions about the school radio station.”

Jack turned to Mark, a grin on his face, one eyebrow raised. Mark felt the extreme need to defend himself.

“How is 'I didn’t know our school had a radio station’ the same as talking about him all the time? Come on.”

“Yesterday I told you that Jack sounded like a cool guy and you told me to shove off.” Wade pointed out. Mark opened and closed his mouth.

“Yeah, so? Shove off. He’s mine, find your own cute radio DJ.”

Wade put his arms up defensively, clearly amused.

“I’m going to bed. Night, you guys.”

“Goodnight!” Jack beamed as he returned the farewell, waiting until Wade had disappeared to turn to Mark, a cheeky grin on his face. “Since the first time we met, huh?”

“No. No! I do not talk about you all the time. Wade was trying to be funny.”

“And 'he’s mine’? Really?”

“Wade doesn’t know–” Mark began, his voice loud in protest, Jack shushing him with a finger. “Wade doesn’t know we’re faking. I have to act the part, right?”

“Yeah. Sure.” Jack was still grinning. “You think I’m cute.”

“Shut up.”

They didn’t feel like getting up after the movie ended, Mark switching the television to cable, the two of them watching–and shit-talking–some bad soap opera reruns until he began to feel his eyelids drooping. He was more than ready to just sleep right where he was on the floor, feeling Jack glance over and hearing him chuckle, his own voice rough with sleepiness. He asked a question that Mark didn’t quite hear so he just groaned in response, rolling on his side to press his face further into a pillow. Jack chuckled again, sitting up to turn off the TV. When he laid back down he shifted over a bit, but Mark found the extra space unwelcome, scooting closer, laying his arm across Jack’s chest so he wouldn’t move away again, his forehead resting against Jack’s shoulder.

“But–” Jack was tense, sounding confused.

“It’s fine.”

“Okay.” Mark swore he heard a smile in Jack’s response as he closed his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof this part is fun. thank all of you for being so nice!!

Mark woke curled up on the floor. His arms were around a couch cushion, and Wade was standing over him with a grin.

“What?” He asked, groaning and rolling onto his back. He blinked a few times, clearing his throat. “Where’s Jack?”

“Shower. I told him you wouldn’t mind if he borrowed some of your clothes.”

Wade still had a weird smirk, making Mark ask again.

“What? What is it?”

“You guys were all curled up together, asleep. It was so cute.”

“Oh. Well…” Mark glanced down, hiding his face under the guise of fixing his hair. The cuddling–closeness that he had initiated–had seemed fine at the time, especially considering how affectionate being sleepy made him. In hindsight though, it wasn’t normal. Not normal for him. Not normal when no one was watching, and the relationship wasn’t supposed to be real. “Yeah. Thanks, I guess.”

“Jack thought it was cute too. Or, that you were cute.”

“He did?” That made Mark sit up, Wade nodding.

“He took a picture. Put it on Twitter, I think.”

Wade went into the kitchen, Mark opening his laptop and going to the social media site. He’d gained an exponential amount of followers overnight, his little notification symbol showing a small “99+” in the corner. He went to Jack’s Twitter, his eyes growing wide. There was a very close shot of his face, and while he didn’t look bad, Jack’s caption was something else.

_He’s a cute sleeper, but… I kinda want to draw dicks on his face._

Mark quickly checked Jack’s follower count, groaning. Slightly over three thousand people had seen the tweet.

“Morning! Sort of. It’s noon by now.”

Mark glanced up at the voice. Jack was walking over, his hair damp and frizzed from drying, his hands deep in his jacket pockets. The jacket was his own and the jeans were too, the shirt Jack was wearing the only thing Mark recognized as being taken from his room. “I was hoping you’d still be asleep, to be honest.”

“Why?” Mark asked, Wade reentering and taking a seat on the couch. “So you could draw dicks on my face?”

That made Jack laugh, and he shook his head.

“You saw that, huh? No, actually; since you made me dinner last night, I wanted to surprise you with breakfast.”

What could only be described as a delighted squeak came from Mark’s right, looking over to see a completely mushy expression on Wade’s face. Jack was a mixture of amused and delighted at that, Mark laughing.

“Can you even cook?” He asked, extending out an arm as an ask for help getting up. Jack took it, pulling him to his feet.

“Of course I can! Well enough, anyway. Omelette?”

“It’s noon.” Mark deadpanned as they entered the kitchen, sitting at the table as Jack opened the fridge.

“It doesn’t matter the time–if it’s your first meal, it’s breakfast. You should set Twitter up on your phone.”

Mark nodded at the suggestion, downloading the app and logging in. He hadn’t actually used it yet, and despite that was already sporting seven hundred some-odd followers, deciding to compose a tweet.

_Good morning everyone! Have an awesome Saturday_

He added an emoji for good measure, barely having sent it out before his phone began buzzing. It was surprising to say the least, Jack glancing back when he heard it.

“Mister Popularity already, huh?”  

“I didn’t think so.” Mark picked his phone up. The notifications were mostly retweets and favorites, but there were some replies. “A few people want to talk to me, a few people are just saying hey… Four people in a row want to know if we had sex last night…”

Jack laughed out loud, shaking his head. “Of course. Go ahead and answer a few people. Just not those people.”

Mark did as Jack cooked, getting back to a good fifteen people before he heard a sharp curse.

“You okay over there?”

“You, uh… Like scrambled eggs, right?”

“Yeah, sure. Didn’t you say we were having omelettes?”

“…eggs are hard to fold.” Jack answered after a second, making Mark laugh.

“Scrambled eggs are fine.” He answered, a omelette-scrambled egg combo being placed in front of him when Jack was finished. They actually tasted quite good, but Mark couldn’t refrain from taking a picture and putting it on the internet.

_It’s a bit late for breakfast… And @Jack_Septic_Eye sucks at making omelettes._

Jack’s phone went off as soon as the tweet was posted, opening his mouth in indignation.

“Don’t fucking sass me!” He responded, tapping away.

_@markiplier shut up, ya big smelly!_

After about an hour of Wade cooing at them in the background, Jack declared that it was time for him to go.

“Want me to walk you back?” Mark asked, watching him put on his shoes.

“Nah, it’s alright. You can walk me to the door though.”

So he did, closing the front door behind them.

“Thanks for having me.” Jack said as soon as they were outside.

“Of course. Thanks for showing up; it was fun.”

“I like Wade too, I’m glad I could meet him.” Jack laughed. “Though it’s good thing there’s not any actual romantic affection here,” he gestured between himself and Mark, “He finds us so cute already that if we were actually dating, I think he might implode.”

“I… Yeah.” Mark laughed, the vocalization sounding fake as soon as it reached his ears. “Good thing.”

Jack gave him a shrewd look. “Don’t you fall in love with me.” He said again, and after a parting wave he was gone.

 

  
The next week was hectic. Mark had a boyfriend, a Twitter account, and a presidential campaign to all take care of, and on top of school itself, he was having a hard time keeping up. As someone that didn’t even like wearing pants, by week two the whole suit routine was getting exhausting. He was slightly re-encouraged when Jack complimented him and played Timberlake’s “Suit and Tie” on the radio, but that didn’t last long. Between their brief, fifteen minute meet ups for coffee and their short back-and-forths on Twitter, Mark was really beginning to miss Jack. He wanted to hang out with him, and talk to him; he wanted them to spend another weekend together, and had a strange feeling in his gut when he realized the kiss on the nose Jack gave him probably had something to do with that. By Thursday he gave in, walking to Jack’s apartment building and knocking on 302.

Jack opened the door almost instantly, his eyes widening in surprise. He had his cell phone held up to his ear, Mark stepping in sheepishly as Jack closed the door behind him.

“Yes, that was the front door. It was Mark.” Jack paced a little, talking to whoever was on the other line, Mark sitting on the couch and stretching one arm over the back of the seat. “Yes, as in the boyfriend I told you about. He isn’t president yet. I don’t–” Jack reddened. “I don’t have to hang up, it’s okay.”

Jack sat heavily on the couch, pulling his feet up and nestling a little under Mark’s arm. Mark could just barely hear female tones on the other line, Jack saying “yeah, you can talk to him” and shoving the phone in his direction.

“It’s my mom.” Jack said in a loud whisper. “She thinks we’re dating, and she wants to talk to you.”

“What?” Mark hissed back, but a loud questioning greeting from the other line had him quickly grabbing the phone.

“Hi! Sorry about that.”

“Hello! This is Jack’s–or do you call him Sean? He goes by Jack at home. Anyway, I’m his mother.”

“Oh, I call him Jack.” Mark answered. He made his voice a bit deeper and more gracious, a tactic he often employed while talking to parents–mostly mothers–that helped earn him a few brownie points. Jack’s head shot up sharply when he heard it. “Hello Mrs. McLoughlin, it’s wonderful to meet you.”

There was a bright smile in her voice, a quality Jack had in him as well, and it made Mark like her, despite how little about her he knew.

“It’s wonderful to meet you too, finally. I kept hounding that son of mine to let me talk to you, but he always told me you were busy. I was about to start doubting your existence, honestly. Mark, was it?”

That had Mark laughing, nodding a little.

“Yes, Mark Fischbach. I’m real. I’ve definitely had my hands full though; school isn’t easy.”

“I wish Jack could say the same. He’s taking minimum credit hours, did you know that? Spends more time with the radio crew than in the classroom.”

“Well, he really loves it. He’s excellent on the radio.”

Jack shifted slightly next to him, Mark glancing over to see him looking down, a small smile on his face.

“You are sweet. I can see why he likes you so much. That’s all, I just wanted to say hello.”

“It was nice to talk to you.”

“You too! Goodbye, hopefully we’ll meet soon.”

The call disconnected, Mark handing Jack’s phone back to him with a self-satisfied smirk.

“I handled that excellently, if I do say so myself.”

“You turned the charm on my mom.” Jack deadpanned, placing his phone in his lap.

“And she loved me.” Mark said with a grin. “Which you are welcome for, by the way. Thanks for putting me on the spot like that.”

“Just trying to help keep those improv skills sharp.” Jack suddenly pulled back, giving Mark a confused once-over. “Wait. What the fuck are you doing here, anyway?”

“Are you the only person in this relationship that can show up to people’s apartments unannounced?”

“I announced that to the whole campus!” Jack protested. “Did you tweet at me or something, and I missed it because I was on the phone?”

“…no.” Mark looked at his hands, suddenly feeling embarrassed. “I thought we could hang out, or something? I haven’t seen you in like a week and a half.”

A smile slowly grew on Jack’s face, the expression only a little teasing.

“We grabbed lunch together two days ago.”

“You know what I mean.”

“So you missed me, is what you’re saying.”

“No. Shut up!” Mark retracted the arm he’d put over the back of the couch, crossing them both and huffing. Jack chuckled, letting himself lean against Mark’s side and pulling out his phone.

“Twitter needs to know about this.”

“Shut up.” Mark said again, frowning harder as Jack composed a new tweet.

_@Jack_Septic_Eye: This goober says he missed me_

Then he tapped the photo icon, holding the phone up for a selfie.

“Do something cute.” He told Mark, but Mark didn’t feel like complying.

“You’re embarrassing me.” Mark argued.

“Come on, don’t be like that.” Jack’s voice had turned pouty, making Mark roll his eyes and laugh. Jack turned his attention back to the camera and Mark pulled a duck face, turning to Jack and pressing his nose against the side of his boyfriend’s face. It was nearly a kiss on the cheek, his lips just quite not touching Jack’s skin, and he let out a breath through his nose. The hot air must have tickled because Jack eyes closed in a giggle, Mark hearing the shutter go off.

Jack nodded to himself as he saw the photo, showing it to Mark for review. The picture was incredibly cute, he couldn’t help but admit, nodding back. They photographed adorably together, Jack sending the tweet with a satisfied expression.

“Is there anything in particular you wanted to do?” Jack asked, Mark shaking his head quickly. He felt a little silly now, showing up uninvited for no real reason, but Jack just shrugged, standing up to turn on his console, tossing Mark a controller and dialing something on his phone.

“What’re you doing?” Mark asked, Jack giving him a bright smile.

“When in doubt, pizza and video games.”

They demolished the entire pizza in less than an hour, Mark leaning back on the couch, embarrassingly full of food, when Jack glanced over and asked

“So, are you ready to be on the radio tomorrow?”

It took Mark a moment to realize what Jack was talking about.

“Oh, right. I think so.”

Both himself and Ken were going to be on the radio tomorrow, answering caller questions about their campaigns. Mark was actually looking forward to it. Being on the radio would probably be a good deal of fun, the only concern of his being the people calling in. If they were anything like the people that responded to his tweets, there would be some skirting around awkward questions about Jack and himself.

“I’m looking forward to it.” Jack was grinning. “I love having guests on the show. Especially when they’re some of my best friends.”

Mark just looked over at him, Jack not noticing he was staring until Mark’s character died from lack of attention to the game.

“Of course you’re one of my best friends.” Jack nudged him hard with an elbow, Mark letting a smile flow freely onto his face. “Don’t stare at me like that.”

So Mark settled for sitting as close to Jack as he could on the couch, Jack rolling his eyes and leaning his weight on Mark’s shoulder. Leaning into him was something Jack did a lot, Mark noticed, and he rather liked it. He liked a lot of things Jack did though, like the way he leaned back when he laughed hard, or how he would randomly burst into song, or just how animated he was when he spoke. It made him fun to be around.

It was nearly 10 p.m. when Mark finally decided he needed to leave. He had both class and the radio show to prepare for the next day, and he didn’t want to keep Jack up either. He declined Jack’s offer to walk him home, so Jack just walked him to the front door, standing in the doorway.

“See you tomorrow.”

Mark nodded and met his eyes, feeling this small, expectant tug that he ought to do something. Times like this always had such an “end of date” feeling to them that the thought of maybe kissing Jack always crossed his mind, but he just shook it off as usual and responded to the farewell, pulling his phone from his pocket as he turned to head home.

 

  
It wasn’t until Mark was sitting in the broadcasting room, a pair of headphones on and a mic in front of him, with 5 minutes until the show was starting, that he actually felt the nerves stirring in his stomach. He was sitting next to Ken, with Jack across from both of them at the table and asking if they were ready.

“Yeah!” Ken clapped his hands together, the jarring noise making Mark give him a glance. “Let’s do it.”

Jack turned to Mark for his answer, his eyebrows raised, to which he just nodded. Then a red light told them all they were on air, an easy smile making its way to Jack’s face as he greeted listeners, saying his opening remarks.

“And I have not one, but two very special guests on the show with me today. Two names that anyone that listens to this show should know by now: Mark Fischbach and Kenneth Morrison. How are you guys doing today?”

“Great!” Ken responded enthusiastically, Mark nodding in agreement.

“I’m really excited to be here. I’m sure we both are.”

“I’m excited too.” Jack met Mark’s eyes, smiling a little. “This show is for our two student pres candidates–these two ruggedly handsome men in front of me–to talk about what it is they want to achieve upon being elected and to answer caller questions. Both of these men are very close to my heart, with Ken being a good friend and former roommate and Mark being a good friend and current boyfriend, so I’m just going to be playing moderator here. There are no sides being picked.”

“But he’s voting for me.” Ken said in a stage whisper, his voice low and his lips close to the mic. Jack laughed.

“I don’t know man, Mark’s gotten me a lot of free food. And he cooks better than you can, too.”

“Hey!” Ken’s mouth was opened in mock offense. “Don’t go telling these people I can’t cook. You like my specialty mac and cheese.”

“I’d just like to point out that my specialty is gourmet Korean chicken and dumplings, so I feel compelled to agree with my boyfriend on this one.” Mark popped in.

“You haven’t made those for me yet.” Jack said. Mark shrugged.

“You free after this?”

“As free as you are.”

“Get a room!” Ken exclaimed loudly, Jack laughing at him.

“Maybe we will. But first, please enjoy this song: The Hit by Tupperware Remix Party!”

Jack sent them thumbs ups as the song began, a confirmation of how they were doing, Mark responding in kind as Ken nodded. It was weird being here, but the scary part of answering questions hadn’t started yet, so Mark couldn’t complain.

“We’re going to open the phone lines soon,” Jack said as the song ended, adjusting his headphones as he spoke, “so I wanted to establish a few ground rules. A lot of you guys out there know about Mark and I’s relationship, but just because he’s on my show today doesn’t mean you get to ask him questions about it. Ken’s here too, and that wouldn’t be fair to him. Today is all about politics. That being said, I thought up a few things you guys might want to know, and I’m going to answer a few questions in an attempt to… Lessen the urge of you guys calling in.”

Mark sent Jack a look. He hadn’t known anything about this; they hadn’t discussed any questions or answers, and he was genuinely afraid of what Jack was about to say about him. He could already feel his face turning red.

“So, to get this out of the way, here we go. What are the pros and cons of dating Mark? One pro are that his shoulders are broader than mine, meaning I can fit into all of his shirts and he can’t fit into any of mine, so really it’s just me stealing his clothes. A con are that between the two of us, he’s the hot one.”

“You know, I think I agree with that.” Ken said. “Sorry Jack.”

Jack laughed, nodding, Mark seeing something he hadn’t noticed until then, unable not to point it out.

“You’re wearing one of my shirts right now.”

It was the shirt Jack borrowed after showering at Mark’s apartment, light blue and a little form fitting. Jack plucked at the fabric with a grin.

“Yeah, it’s comfy. I can give it back.”

“No, that’s alright.” The blue in the shirt brought out the blue in Jack’s eyes so well that for a moment Mark caught himself staring. “Keep it. It looks good on you.”

“If you guys keep looking at each other like that, I’m going to leave.” Ken threatened, Jack clearing his throat and turning back to the paper of questions in front of him.

“Mark’s best features? Biceps and cooking. Best thing Mark’s done so far? He did tell me that the upside-down kiss at that Halloween party was the most romantic thing he’s ever done in his life, but he did throw up on my shoes afterwards, so I feel bad for anyone else he’s ever dated.”

“Shut up.” Mark grumbled at him, Jack bursting into laughter.

“And finally, because tons of people want to know on Twitter: have you guys done ‘insert-relationship-milestone-of-your-choice-here’ yet? We’ve been dating for three months now. Fill in the blanks yourself.”

Ken was chuckling, and Mark was pink in the face. He had no reason for being embarrassed–they hadn’t even had to kiss each other yet–but the insinuation was enough to get him blushing.

“We’ll be opening the phone lines after this short break. Please be respectful, and remember to stick to campaign related questions!”

Jack grinned at him when the music began, pointing at his cheeks and at the blush on his face. Mark flipped him off, Ken snorting in laughter.

The answering of questions went rather smoothly, and Mark was grateful. There were a few things brought up that he hadn’t considered, glad that they were brought to his attention. Ken had the first answer to everything, and they actually agreed with each other on a good amount of subjects, something that surprised Mark for some reason. Jack just nodded along, not giving much input, answering and hanging up the phone. Things were going smoothly with Ken too, both better than at the party and better than he expected. They only hit one snag, but it was enough for the whole thing to come crashing down.

Mark was in the middle of talking about learning guitar, something he was interested in, saying since Jack knew about it, maybe his boyfriend could help him. Ken looked at him first, confusion on his face, Jack shooting him an “oh shit” expression, and Mark knew that immediately, somehow, he had fucked up.

“Jack was in a band, right?” He asked hesitantly, giving his boyfriend a questioning look, needing to know the problem but also trying not to tip Ken off that something might be wrong. Jack nodded at him.

“Yeah, but he played the drums.” Ken said slowly, pointing between Jack and Mark, his eyes narrowed.

“You’re a shit boyfriend.” Jack’s tone was light and joking, Mark trying to fight the internal panic and think of an excuse for why he would imply that his boyfriend actually play a different instrument.

“But the band had guitarists, right? I’ve never really even been around a guitar, so he’s better off than me.”

“Right.” Ken was still looking at them, still scrutinizing, definitely not convinced. Mark just tried to keep his mouth closed, avoiding his eyes until the broadcast was over. Thankfully that only was for about ten minutes, and once Jack had thanked callers and signed off he hurried over to Mark and pulled him to his feet.

“What?” Mark whispered, frowning at the look on Jack’s face.

“Quick, kiss me while he’s looking.”

“What?” Mark choked that out a little louder, the question definitely getting Ken’s attention, and Jack put a hand on the back of Mark’s neck, tugging him down a little and meeting his lips. Mark tried not to be surprised, knowing they were supposed to have done this a hundred times over already, but he couldn’t help it. Jack was pressed close to him, kissing him, and his brain was all but short-circuiting.

Mark would be lying through his teeth if he said he’d never thought seriously about kissing Jack. He had. Part of him was surprised that it hadn’t happened sooner, simply because of the lie they were living through together. He thought it would be strange, or uncomfortable, or awkward; nothing like this.

Jack was still as dynamic as always but now he was so close that Mark could feel that energy, his right hand curled in Mark’s hair, his lips moving so gently they were almost hesitant. Every one of Mark’s nerves was hyperaware, suddenly conscious of the heavy beat of his heart, the pressure of Jack’s lips, and just how purely  _kinetic_ he was.

When Jack began to pull back Mark found himself pushing closer, but only until he realized what he was doing, stilling as his face grew warm. Jack detached their lips only enough for them to breathe, tilting his head to the side so their noses wouldn’t bump.

“So?” he whispered. “Did it work?”

It took a second of hazy searching for Mark to even realize what Jack was asking about, blinking and pulling back a little further.

Ken was looking at them, pulling an exaggerated face. Mark didn’t think he could say something even if he tried, the broad-shouldered candidate pulling himself to his feet.

“Alright there, Smoochie Poo and Googly Bear. I get it. You guys want to be alone.” He shot finger guns in Jack’s direction and winked, requesting that the DJ text him before slipping out the door.

“I think it worked.” Mark said, and Jack took a step back, bursting into giggles and looking at his feet. His face was completely red, rubbing the side of his face and avoiding Mark’s eyes.

“So… That happened.”

“I… Yeah.”

Mark had no idea what to say, Jack finally meeting his eyes and laughing again. Mark couldn’t stop smiling either, watching Jack’s face, a squeeze in his chest making him want to kiss Jack again. He didn’t though, keeping one hand firmly planted on the table behind him until Jack spoke.

“I don’t know about you, but that felt a little awkward. Like… Theatrical, or something.”

“Wasn’t that the point?” Mark asked, the little smile that was still on his face making Jack reach out and hit his shoulder.

“Yeah, but we’ve been supposed to have been doing…  _That_ ,” the skirting around the word “kissing” amused Mark for a moment, but then he realized he probably wouldn’t be able to say it either, despite how childish that felt “for three months now. It should be more natural, shouldn’t it?”

“What are you saying?” Mark felt he knew, but he could feel embarrassment inching up his throat, not wanting to suggest anything outlandish.

“Shouldn’t we… Practice?”

Something flipped in Mark’s stomach but he tried not to show it, just nodding a bit and straightening up.

“We probably can’t stay here, huh?”

“As hot as it would be to make out in the recording studio, no.” Jack chuckled. “I’d probably get in trouble.”

Mark blanched but Jack didn’t see it, already headed to the door.

“Your place or mine?”

“I… I think Wade is home.”

Jack just nodded, Mark falling in step next to him and taking his hand. They chatted briefly about how the radio show had gone, but they had both been there, and it felt like small talk. All he could think about was the kiss they’d just had, and how electric it had felt, and the urge he had to stop Jack, spin him around, and kiss him again. Not for show, not for his campaign, not so someone could take a photo and put it on Twitter. Because Jack made him smile. Because Jack was nice, and clever, and laughed too much, and had spectacular blue eyes, and was passionate, and loud, and colorful, and… And hell, because he wanted to.

“You thought I played the guitar? Really?”

Jack’s voice broke him from his thoughts, sounding amused. They had reached the apartment building, dropping hands and climbing the stairs.

“Most guys have.” Mark defended, Jack considering the statement before nodding.

“Drums are easier.” He explained. “And so much more fun. I was pretty good, too.”

“You should show me some time.”

“Just give me a drum set.”

Jack unlocked his front door, pushing it open. The place was becoming quite familiar, with Mark having been there just yesterday. Jack walked immediately into the kitchen, calling out the offer of a glass of water as he went, which Mark accepted. Then they sat together on the couch, the silence heavy.

“Well, this is nice and awkward.” Mark remarked. Jack immediately became defensive.

“It’s your turn! This was my idea, and I instigated the first one.”

“Yeah, why did you do that?” Mark asked, willing his face to stay a neutral color.

“Did you not see Ken’s face?”

Mark shook his head–he had been making a large effort not to look in that direction.

“Oh. Your flub made him all suspicious.”

“Just from that?” That seemed excessive, Mark telling him so. Jack immediately glanced away, looking sheepish.

“He might have made a comment at the beginning of this whole scam about how much of a coincidence it was that you were running for president, and… Let’s just say I could have handed the conversation better. So he’s a little skeptical.”

Mark shook his head and laughed, Jack frowning and shoving lightly at his shoulder.

“Mark.”

“What?”

“Shut up and kiss me.”

The request had his face turning pink, Jack grinning, raising his eyebrows, and letting him lean in. His heart was pounding and he pulled back just a second later, getting a concerned look in response. This was supposed to just be practice; it wasn’t supposed to affect him, and Mark realized that if he moved a certain way, or made a sound, it was game over, and he wasn’t sure he trusted himself.

“What?” Jack asked him, his eyes traveling over Mark’s face. “You alright?”

“What are we doing?” Mark asked back. It was stupid question, but he was stalling. “Do we just kiss, or…?”

“That’s how we’d practice.” Jack’s mouth opened slightly in inspiration, grabbing quickly for his phone. Mark’s heart sank for a moment, but Jack didn’t open Twitter, going to his clock app instead.

“I’ll set a timer for… How long?“

"Seven minutes in heaven?” Mark proposed. It was meant to be a joke, and while Jack laughed out loud, he also nodded. He set the timer, phone in hand as he faced Mark again.

“You ready?” He asked. Then he hesitated. “This isn’t weird, right?”

“Right.” It didn’t feel weird, per se. Sure, Mark was nervous, but it wasn’t like he didn’t want to kiss Jack. The problem was that he really, really did.

“Okay.” Jack let out a breath, rolling his shoulders and meeting Mark’s eyes. Then he tapped the “start” button, placing his phone on his thigh, and leaned in.

Mark met him halfway, a spark racing down his spine as though he’d been shocked. The hesitance from earlier was gone, Jack’s lips moving deliberately, insistently against him, Mark ignoring his own misgivings and kissing back. Usually he had a technique, something he did to ensure himself some brownie points in the making out department, but with Jack he found himself forgetting all of that and just doing what felt right; what felt natural.

Jack pulled back slightly, his forehead pressed against Mark’s, eyes still closed and voice breathless in the best way as he said,

“You can… Touch me, if you want to. Like my arms, or my hair, or something.”

Mark froze at that, speechless, Jack leaning back in to capture his lips. It took Mark a moment to respond, needing time to recover, but when he did he went ahead with Jack’s new allowances, shifting closer and moving his right hand up to grip the back of Jack’s neck.

That got a reaction, Jack leaning forward and gripping Mark’s bicep, a small sound coming from the back of his throat that Mark wouldn’t have heard if he weren’t so close. Jack’s other hand found his chest, fingers light against the muscle as he drew back slightly to bite his bottom lip. It was gentle, but the pressure was enough to send another electric jolt down Mark’s spine.

All too soon, the phone’s alarm began to blare. Time was up, but that didn’t seem to matter; Jack knocked the device off his leg dismissively, his hands traveling up Mark’s shoulders to loop around his neck. The cell phone shrieked in protest as it fell, landing on Mark’s foot.

It didn’t hurt really, but it was something he definitely wasn’t expecting, making him jump. Jack’s lips turned up into a smile against his own, and he began to giggle slightly, having to break the kiss and laugh. His arms were still around Mark’s neck, leaning against him a little, chuckling still as he let them fall.

“Sorry.”

Mark felt almost breathless as he let himself meet Jack’s eyes. Jack was glowing, beaming at him, eyes bright with amusement, lips slightly pinker than usual and looking a little abused. It was definitely a sight Mark could get used to.

“Well… Did that help?” Mark asked as Jack picked his phone up, turning the alarm off. Jack adopted a thoughtful expression, leaning in without warning and kissing him quickly. It’s was soft and sweet, nodding when he pulled back. Mark was afraid his heart was hammering against his ribcage so hard it was audible.

“I think so. A little.”

“Practice makes perfect.”

“I’ve got more free time.” Jack responded with a shrug. That hadn’t been what he was insinuating, but Mark wasn’t about to complain, unable not to smile as Jack slid up as close as possible and wound his arms again around Mark’s neck.

 

  
The end of the semester was upon them quickly, finals beginning as the weather grew cold. Mark’s sleep schedule quickly became extremely screwed up, staying up late to study, sleeping when he could, which was anywhere from four am to half past noon. He made sure to tweet out an encouraging message at least once a day though, something his Twitter was becoming known for, being called “really adorable” on the school radio for it. As the semester came to a close, the student radio staff decided to put on a “wild and crazy” party for crew members and friends, and Mark found himself invited, agreeing easily.

“I can’t believe I still can’t drink.” Jack whined as they walked in, sticking a pouting lip out in Mark’s direction when he was laughed at. “I don’t want this party to be as lame as the last one.”

“There’s a decent room to dance in this time.” Mark pointed out. “Plus, remember what they taught us in high school? You don’t need drugs to have a good time.”

Jack snorted out a laugh, leading the way on to the dance floor. They had shown up fashionably late, the party already in full swing when they arrived. Jack knew just about everyone, waving and smiling and blowing kisses at multiple people as they squeezed their way through the masses to the middle of the dance floor.

“So, do you know how to dance?” Jack asked, raising his voice quite a bit to be heard over the bass-heavy music.

“Actual dancing, or…” Mark gestured to all of the writhing bodies around them. “This?”

“Either one.”

“Nope.”

That made Jack laugh, Mark asking

“What about you?”

“Not really, but it’s not like I’ve never been to a party before. This isn’t my first rodeo.”

Mark raised his eyebrows, but Jack just grinned back. They didn’t have the chance to actually dance much, with the amount of people coming up to talk to Jack. He was obviously very well liked at the radio station, and since it was the radio station putting on the party, he was well liked by everyone there. Mark hoped that meant he himself was well liked too, but aside from a few nods and winks he received, it wasn’t easy to tell.

“Hey.” Jack leaned in close, whispering into his ear to avoid having to shout over the music. It made a shiver shoot down his spine, jumping back a little, only to be reigned in by Jack’s hand on the small of his back.

“What?” Mark stammered back. Jack was close to him, closer than he had been the entire time of the party, and Mark glanced away to avoid bumping noses.

“How freaked out would you be if I grinded on you right now? We’re leaving so much room for Jesus that we’re standing out.”

Mark glanced around, realizing that Jack was right. Everyone around them was more or less having sex on the dance floor, so he shrugged in consent. A little bumping hip bones couldn’t hurt. What he didn’t expect was Jack to step even closer, put a hand on his shoulder, and roll their hips together.

The sharp intake of air was unavoidable, Mark glancing down and biting his lip hard to avoid any sound passing through his lips. Jack chuckled, and the little smile on his face was so intoxicating that Mark knew he either needed to get away from Jack or start giving him a hickey, and the second option wasn’t anywhere near plausible.

“Can… Can we go outside?”

Jack’s expression turned immediately into concern, nodding and taking his hand to tug him towards the door. He needed to think. He needed to breathe. Their relationship had gone from zero to about a thousand in no time at all, and there was a mess of jumbled up feelings that Mark was still deciding whether to try wading through or just shoving aside altogether. With Jack not feeling the same way, with everything being so one-sided, even the innocent things that had become second nature, like their flirty tweets and holding hands, held a new meaning. The casual smooches and butt pinches that Jack had begun integrating went without saying.

"You alright?” Jack asked once they’d made it outside.

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“It’s fine, it’s not like we were doing anything important.” There was a bench a few steps away from them, walking over and sitting down. “I’m sorry too.”

Mark just waved a hand, feeling uncomfortable now about making them leave. It wasn’t fair of him to be acting strange like this.

“If anything is ever, you know…” Jack gestured vaguely with his hands, “Too much, it’s fine. Seriously. Just tell me.”

“No, it’s not that.” It wasn’t like he hadn’t enjoyed anything they’d done together thus far; not that he was telling Jack that. However, the assurance had implied something was up, Jack fixing him with a look that prompted some sort of explanation. There was a question Mark had on his mind though, and he figured now was a good time as any to ask it.

“Why did you agree to this?”

“What do you mean?” Jack frowned at him, looking confused.

“This entire 'pretending to date me’ thing. It’s way too time consuming just for free pizza.” Mark insisted, raising an eyebrow. Jack sighed, leaning back and glancing away.

“Remember my mom? You talked to her on the phone the other day.”

Mark nodded, unsure of where this was going.

“Well, she–or my parents–or my whole family, really–are super into relationships. They all believe monogamy is like… The key to happiness. And I don’t have anything against that, but…” He shrugged. “They pestered me about dating all through high school, and by my first semester here I was sick of it. I told them I was dating someone, but they were too excited to hear my sarcasm, apparently. I even told them it wasn’t a girl, to be discouraging, but as it turns out I have the most accepting family in the world.”

He laughed a little, Mark catching on to where this was going.

“I’m the fake boyfriend you’ve had since your first semester of college?” He asked, slightly incredulous. Jack met his eyes, giving him a sheepish grin.

“They all think we’re living together. We have for a year now, as far as they know.”

Mark just blinked, trying to process what Jack was telling him.

“Your parents think we’ve been together for three years, and that was the first time your mother had spoken to me? No wonder she didn’t think I was real.”

“Yeah, the lies got creative.” Jack chuckled lightly. He glanced past Mark for a split second, his eyes incredibly soft as he spoke again. “At least I don’t have to do that anymore, because now I have you.”

He leaned in close, capturing his lips in a strong kiss. Mark couldn’t help a muffled sound of surprise, leaning back slightly. His expression and tone had sounded so sincere that Mark needed to ask about his words. They were the only ones outside; there was no one to put up the front for, no reason for Jack to act affectionate. But Jack just chased his breath back into his lungs, reaching up to grip the nape of Mark’s neck.

“N-no, wait, what–?”

Mark pulled back, all of his questions stopped by Jack giving him another chaste kiss, then leaning close to his ear and murmuring

“I don’t know for how long, but Ken is standing over there. I think he could hear us.”

“Oh.” That was both an explanation and a nervous weight that dropped into the pit of Mark’s stomach as he glanced back. Sure enough to, Ken was there, off a few yards with his phone in his hand, the screen lighting up his face. He was a good distance away from them, but it was so quiet outside that Mark wouldn’t be surprised if they had been within earshot. Ken was his rival; if Ken knew this was fake, they were done for.

“What should we do? Should we just make out until he believes us again?”  

“Or until he gets uncomfortable and leaves.” Jack pulled back, Mark seeing all thought Ken leaving his mind, replaced by a serious expression, his eyes searching his face. “But only if that’s okay.”

“It’s fine.”

Jack was not convinced, frowning slightly, stroking the back of Mark’s neck lightly with his fingers.

“But you’ve been acting weird since–”

Mark gave him a quick kiss to shut him up. Sure, feelings were starting to creep in and make the whole thing messy, but top priority was making Ken go away. And running his hands down Jack’s chest was something he’d had at the back of his mind since their practice session on the couch.

“It’s fine.” He repeated. “I promise. Don’t worry about me.”

“Okay.” Jack grinned a little. “Kiss me then.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is so late omg ;;; I'm so sorry! college (microbiology specifically) completely kicked me in the ass. but the semester is winding down, so hopefully this won't happen again for the last chapter. It's nearly midnight here so I'll answer comments tomorrow, thank you so much for all your kind words!

They entered winter break without word from Ken, which Mark could only take as a good sign. Mark wasn't planning on going home until a few days before Christmas, so while he and Jack were both going to be on campus, they only planned on meeting up once or twice. Which was why he was so surprised, about a day and a half into his break from school, when Jack called him. 

"Hey."

"Hey! What's up?"

"Well..." Jack's voice got instantly hesitant, something Mark recognized, feeling apprehensive.

"What do you want to ask me?" He decided to simply cut to the chase, Jack laughing a little.

"It's time for me to cash in on my half of the deal, I guess. My parents are coming to visit me for about five days."

It took Mark a moment to realize what it was that Jack needed, and when he did he couldn't hold in an astonished laugh. 

"They're visiting... And they think we live together."

"It'll just be for five days. Though you'll probably have to move in for a little bit."

"And when are they getting here?" 

"Tomorrow."

"Fuck." As daunting and ridiculous as it seemed, Mark knew he couldn't say no. Jack had been a stellar fake boyfriend, and he had to step up too. That and Jack's parents deserved to finally meet the guy their son had talked about for the past three years. "Yeah. Okay." 

"Was that you agreeing?"

"As long as you come over to help me pack. Wade's already gone home, so he won't be there to coo at us."

"Aw. I like it when he does that." 

Mark laughed a little, Jack saying he would see him soon and hanging up. The packing was different than usual, because along with clothes Mark needed to bring over some personalized household items, things that said he lived in Jack's apartment. 

"I'm going to need to work out where you keep all your stuff, like in the kitchen, and the bathroom, and things." He was saying, rifling through his shirt drawer. "And I'm going to need more info on you."

"What now?" Jack asked, voice a little whiny.

"Like... Do you snore in your sleep? Drool?"

"No!" Jack exclaimed instantly, laughing. "I don't know. I'm not there to observe myself when I'm sleeping." 

"We'll have a trial run tonight, before your parents come. I'll watch you sleep and take notes."

"Romantic." Jack deadpanned, but he was amused. "I can't really think of anything. They're so glad that I'm in love with someone that as long as you don't do something like call me 'bro', it should be fine."

"In love?" Mark couldn't help but ask, a strange feeling in his chest. Jack glancing at him with a small grin. 

"Well yeah. I mean, we've been together for three years." He shrugged, turning to zip up Mark's suitcase. "What else are they supposed to think?"

"I..." He was right, Mark realized. “I guess so.”

A week's worth of clothes, some games, and a few odd knickknacks were easy to move, and before long they were on the couch together, with reruns playing on the TV that neither of them were really watching.

"It'll just be a sleepover. A really long sleepover." Jack said, Mark laughing. 

"That makes me feel like I'm in sixth grade again."

"Hey, sixth grade was okay." Jack wheedled, Mark shrugging in response. 

"I mean, it was middle school."

"You have a point." 

"It'll be fine, I'm not worried about that." Mark insisted. "It's just your parents I'm not sure about."

"They're great." Jack said, waving a hand dismissively. That didn't manage to quell any of Mark's feelings about it but he didn't say so, the two eating dinner and going to bed surprisingly early. Mark had only been half joking about watching Jack sleep, but he was still on the mend from all the finals he'd just taken, and ended up falling asleep quickly. He woke before Jack did though, pulling himself up into a sitting position and watching. This was the most calm he'd ever seen Jack, he realized in amusement. 

"Mark?" Jack mumbled after a few moments, his eyes still closed. His voice was coarse with sleep, and for a moment Mark thought he might be sleep talking. 

"Yeah?"

"Are you watching me right now?" 

Mark chuckled, Jack slowly opening his eyes.

"Maybe."

"I don't see you taking any notes." Jack gave a long yawn, rubbing his eyes. "So? What did you find out?"

"Well," Mark began with a grin. "You sleep talk."

"What?"

"And snore. And you were totally having a wet dream about me, too."

Jack laughed, realizing Mark was lying and rolling his eyes. "If I was snoring while dreaming about you, it sounds like you need to step up your game." He sat up, putting his legs over the side of the bed and turning on the coffee maker. "What do you want for breakfast?"

They decided on pancakes while the coffee brewed, Jack confessing that he had absolutely no idea when during the day his parents were planning on stopping by. 

"Well," Mark said, stirring the batter, "if they come early enough, they might be able to have some of my gourmet pancakes."

"And what makes them gourmet?" Jack challenged, setting his half finished mug of coffee on the table and raising an eyebrow.

"A good chef never gives away his secrets."

"I thought that was a good magician." Jack said, hopping up to sit on the countertop, Mark pouring a dollop of pancake batter into the pan. "Wasn't it you, who told me that? It was! You managed to drunk-climb into that tree, and then you said--" 

Mark's ears were burning with embarrassment and he didn’t want to relive the story again, leaning over and shutting Jack up in the quickest way he knew how. The kiss was clumsy and unexpected, Jack looking at him in open-mouthed surprise when he pulled away. 

"Okay... What was that?"

The reasoning he had given himself-- _to_ _shut you up_ \--was flimsy at best, and when Mark told him Jack looked skeptical, crossing his arms and narrowing his eyes, Mark floundering in silence.

"W-well... And you said you didn't know when your parents were coming." Mark continued hastily. "So I'm just getting into character."

"Right. In character." Jack jumped down, sidling up to him, taking the bowl from his hands and placing it on the counter. He wound his arms around Mark's neck, Mark's hands finding his waist automatically. "I think I need to get into character too."

"Okay." Mark responded dumbly, that word the only thing his brain could formulate as Jack leaned in and met his lips. The kiss was slow, Jack easing his lips apart, Mark relishing in the taste of coffee on Jack's tongue. Jack met his eyes as he drew away, a small smile on his face. 

"Good morning, boyfriend."

It took Mark a second to coax anything from his brain that wasn't 'wow', or simply the urge to lean in and kiss Jack again. 

"You have really long eyelashes."

Granted, that wasn't much better, but Jack just laughed, Mark saved from any further embarrassment when he noticed in a panic that the pancakes he had on the stove were burning. 

"I thought you were supposed to be good at this!" Jack exclaimed while Mark dashed to scrape the blackened batter off the skillet.

"You can shut up." 

"I get to cook the next ones."

"No way."

"I think it's safe to say that you just lost your spatula privileges."

"Okay, but whose fault is that?" Mark asked as he set the skillet back on the stove, pouring two more pancakes on it. Jack grabbed the spatula anyway, springing halfway across the kitchen with it in his hand. Mark lunged after him, and it turned into a full speed chase throughout the living room, empty threats being tossed back and forth. Eventually Mark was able to just barrel into him, picking Jack up by the middle and hoisting him over one shoulder. 

"You are freakishly strong, Mr. Biceps." Jack protested as Mark turned in the direction of the kitchen. 

"As if you're complaining."

"I am! Put me down right--" His voice stopped instantly, Mark frowning at the sudden change. He nearly asked what was wrong when Jack spoke up again, voice considerably quieter. "Hey, Mom. Dad."

Then there was the sound of the front door closing, Mark turning around to see the two older people that he had to assume were Jack's parents standing there, politely amused looks on their faces.

"Put me down!" Jack hissed, and this time Mark did, trying to find something to introduce himself with. Then the woman crinkled her nose, asking hesitantly,

"Is something burning?"

  
  


Twenty minutes, seven pancakes, and a good deal of embarrassment later, they were all sitting around the table in Jack's kitchen to eat breakfast. 

"So Mark, tell me everything about yourself." Jack's mother said, Mark blanching slightly at the request while Jack raised his voice in protest.

"Hold on, you can't just give him the third degree like that." 

"No, it's okay." Mark interjected, getting an excited nod from Mrs. McLoughlin. "They haven't been able to meet me yet."

"I understand that plane tickets to Ireland are expensive, but it is quite unfair that you've met his parents three times now, and we've only met him this once."

Mark sent a look in Jack's direction--his own parents didn't even know who Jack was--but he just shrugged back.

"Well, um... What do you want to ask me?"

The process wasn't anywhere near as grueling or difficult as Mark expected it to be. Jack's parents were nice people, and their talk soon shifted from a complete Q&A to a genuine conversation, about family and childhood stories, with a good amount of interruptions by an embarrassed Jack himself. They were both funny, and very nice to talk to, bowing out around two hours later, saying they just wanted to stop by, not intrude, and that they would see them again for dinner.

"So?" Jack asked, raising his eyebrows. "What do you think?"

"Of your parents?"

He nodded. "If you hate your future in-laws, we might as well break up right now."

Mark opened, closed, and opened his mouth again as Jack laughed. 

"No, really though." He prompted, and Mark shook his head at him. 

"Of course I like them." He said. "I knew I would; even though you're a shit sometimes, like right now--"

"Hey!" Jack protested. 

"--they did a good job raising you. So of course they were going to be good people." 

Jack looked completely caught off guard, pink embarrassment blossoming across his face as he punched Mark lightly on the shoulder. 

"I... Thanks."

"Did I just make  _ you _ blush?" Mark asked. It was always the other way around, Jack always saying something cheesy or brash with Mark's face heating up. But now Jack had the smallest of smiles on his face, his cheeks pink, Mark's chest swelling with a strange sort of pride. 

"Shut up." Jack said, punching him in the shoulder before escaping to the couch and leaping on to it. "I was asking a genuine question, but if you're just saying some bullshit to make me--"

"I'm serious!" Mark insisted, throwing himself down on the couch next to him. "I like them. They're nice."

"Yeah, shut up." Jack said again, but Mark knew Jack had seen his sincerity this time, making him smile. That idea was reinforced when they went out for dinner later, Mark finally having the opportunity to talk with Jack's father. Jack promised to show his parents around campus the next day, and they parted ways. 

Again they watched reruns on TV until they got drowsy, retreating to curl under the blankets on Jack's bed. 

"We should kiss tomorrow." Jack said after a long moment of silence.

"What do you mean?"

"Like... In front of my parents. So it'll sink in, you know? We haven't really acted romantically in front of them yet."

Mark chuckled a little; usually he was desperate not to get caught doing anything physical, and especially in front of a date's parents, but this situation was the definition of a special case. 

"I'm guessing you've got something pretty innocent in mind." He said, and Jack laughed.

"Of course!" He exclaimed. "My mom doesn't need to see my tongue. Or yours." 

"That's no fun." 

It was a joke, and Jack laughed, but that didn't keep him from saying, rather matter-of-factly,

"If you need some fun, let me remind you that you are in my bed right now. With your arm around my waist. And if I'm not mistaken, my ass is probably dangerously close to your dick right now."

Mark could feel his entire body heat up and he rolled away to lay on his back, Jack turning to him with a laugh. 

"You make it so easy." He said, and Mark could see amused light in his eyes from the moonlight streaming through the window. 

"Shut up." Was all Mark could say, letting Jack's smile fade into his subconscious as he closed his eyes. 

  
  


The tour around campus was fun, walking through the grounds hand in hand and pointing out all of the various buildings. Jack took them through a room-by-room tour of the radio station, something Mark felt he liked just as much as Jack's parents did.

"What about your extracurriculars, Mark?" Jack's father asked as they were leaving the building.

"Oh, I'm the leader of the improv comedy club." 

"And are you any good?"

Mark laughed. "I like to think so, sir." His focus on the club had been taken away considerably because of the whole class president thing, and he felt a twinge of regret about it, hoping that once the election happened--which was coming up closer than he realized--he would be able to get back into it as much as he had been. 

"Is there anything else you want to see?" Jack asked them, turning to walk all of them back to the apartment. Jack's mother had requested the "full college experience" as much as they could give her, so they were going to order a pizza for dinner and watch a movie like the lazy twenty-somethings that they were. They shrugged however, and after Mark shook his head, they returned home. Kissing Jack in front of Mr. and Mrs. McLoughlin had been on Mark's mind the entire time they'd been touring the campus, but there hadn't ever felt to be a fitting time, and whenever he decided to just go for it anyways--because hey, spontaneity was romantic, right?--he ended up chickening out. Jack's hand was warm in his, his thumb running over Mark's own occasionally, and for the most part, that felt like enough. But Jack had specifically asked for a kiss, and once they'd reached the apartment, going into the kitchen to get drinks of water for everyone, Mark leaned against the kitchen counter and raised an eyebrow in Jack's direction. 

"So when are we going to make out in front of your parents?"

Jack choked out a laugh, shaking his head a small bit. 

"I only meant a small peck on the lips, so--" 

"Yeah, I know. I'm kidding." Mark interrupted him quickly, waving a hand, and Jack shrugged. 

"I figured it would just happen." He answered, placing two empty cups down on the counter in front of him. "I figured you would just go for it."

So, though there was no one there to watch and really no reason to, Mark decided to just go for it, stepping close to Jack and capturing his lips. The action ended up being more aggressive than he meant it but Jack responded with just as much enthusiasm, a thrill of surprise going up Mark's spine. Jack leaned into him and Mark wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him as close as he could, wanting to touch him, and hold him, and taste him. His chest was tight, though if it was from emotion or lack of oxygen Mark couldn't tell, but if he had to take small breaths through his nose for the rest of his life, he felt it would be worth it. Jack's hands found the back pockets of Mark's jeans and Mark felt a small, unbidden sound escape his mouth, but hushes and the shuffling of feet from behind them caused Jack's hands to still, both of them freezing, Jack resting his forehead against Mark's with a sigh.

"That would be my parents." 

"They saw?" That was substantially more mortifying than the simple kiss Jack had wanted to showcase, but it did the job well enough. Thankfully, Mark couldn't find it in himself to be too embarrassed. 

"...yeah." Jack pulled back, running a hand through the green of his hair. His face was a bit pink, his lips a bit red, his eyes on the ground as he cleared his throat.

"What?" Mark asked, unsure if he should be concerned, or if his actions had been unwarranted.

"It's nothing." Jack had a bit of a smile on his face now, rubbing his bottom lip with his thumb before turning away completely, getting the water glasses for his parents. "It's just... Damn, you're good at that."

Mark flushed at the compliment, directing his eyes to the ground as well. Jack exited the kitchen, Mark rejoining the three as the doorbell rang. He took a seat as Jack got up to get the pizza, Jack's mother looking scrutinizingly at him. 

"What?" He finally had to ask. 

"You were in there for a while." She explained. "I expected to see at least a drink in your hands."

"I-I..." Mark didn't know how to answer, spluttering. She had seen them kissing, apparently; what kind of an answer did she expect? He was at least a few different shades of red by the time Jack jumped in to save him. 

"We were making out." He declared, tone boastful, and Mark felt that the relief he'd had when Jack opened his mouth had been rather presumptuous. Jack was seemingly unbothered though, and Mrs. McLoughlin grinned, giggling like a schoolgirl.

"I know." 

Jack turned on the TV on his way to the couch, wedging himself between Mark and his mother. They all chatted a bit while they ate, but once they food was gone they fell into a comfortable silence, and Mark realized, with his feet up and Jack under his arm, that he was fully content. 

  
  


Day three of invasion of the McLoughlins found Mark alone in Jack's apartment. Jack and his parents were doing something together, and Mark understood their desire for family time, but now he was completely unsure of what to do with himself for the five or so hours that he was going to be completely alone. He turned on the video game console, but after about forty-five minutes of beating Jack's high scores he let out a loud sigh, flopping onto his side on the couch. 

He missed Jack. He was bored. 

It felt a bit intrusive to snoop around someone else's apartment, but Mark reasoned that he was living here too, at least for another two days, and it couldn't hurt to familiarize himself with the place. He went around, opening every cabinet and drawer, finding cute fandom memorabilia, forgotten writing materials, and loose change, among other things. Jack's apartment was smaller than his was, both in the size of the rooms and overall, with the hot water running out faster and the internet a bit slower, but somehow Mark found that inexplicably, he liked this place better. His own apartment was better in just about every conceivable way, trying to reason out why it was in second place as he flopped down on Jack's bed. Eventually he just ruled it out as one of the universe's greatest mysteries, like dark matter, or what was on the ocean floor. 

Mark was again searching for something to do when he was struck with inspiration, jumping up to put on his shoes. He kept his shopping spree short, and as a result he ended up needing to get a bit creative with his cooking methods, using what he could find in Jack's kitchen. He was going to make dinner for the boyfriend and his parents. 

The three of them got back just as everything was finishing up, a smile on Jack's face as he entered the kitchen. 

"Hey, good looking." He said, giving him a quick hug from behind, his parents walking in after him. "What's cooking?" 

"Chicken and dumplings." Mark told him happily, smiling into the kiss Jack planted on his cheek before stepping back. "It's almost ready, are you all hungry?" 

"He's cooking!" Jack's mother said, her mouth open in surprise. "He can cook! You never told me that."

"I can." Mark responded, amused. His meal was well received, much to his delight, Mrs. McLoughlin still complimenting him on the food the next day. Of all the things they could talk about Mark was glad it was the food, because it was just him and Jack's parents in the apartment, alone, Jack having to run a few errands for the broadcasting program and promising it wouldn't take long. But now they were just sitting on the couch together, nervous bursts of conversation between long silences. 

"I'm going to be honest with you Mark." Mr. McLoughlin said, and his voice was so serious that anxiety spiked in Mark's chest. 

"Yes sir?"

"Of all the people we theorized that Jack could be dating over the past few years, I'm glad what we ended up with is you." 

"O-oh." Mark stuttered. He could feel his face burning, and he looked down at his hands; that was the last thing he expected to hear, his heart about ready to beat out of his chest. 

"He loves you." Jack's mother said earnestly.

"...really?"

"Yes, oh my--he spent a good two or three minutes yesterday just talking about how cute it is that you say the word 'room' differently."

"Room?" Mark echoed, feeling self conscious as the word came out of his mouth. "He's never talked to me about that."

"Oh?" She sounded surprised, and it had Mark wondering what else Jack had told them, sitting forward and raising his eyebrows.

"Please, go on." he said, and she laughed. 

"I'm not sure I should spill all of my son's secrets." She answered, but Mark wheedled a bit more. Whether it be for show or not, he was always ready to be complimented.

"Well, he likes your voice, and your hair--I said it would be funny if you dyed your hair too, albeit cheesy--but he did seem a bit keen on the idea."

Mark laughed, shaking his head. He was trying to save his hair, not destroy it.

"And oh, he can copy your laugh perfectly."

"Really?"

"Ask him to do it some time!" She exclaimed, and as if on cue Jack walked in, giving them all smiles and waves. 

"I wasn't gone too long, I hope?" He asked, walking behind the couch to drape his arms down Mark's chest to rest his head on his shoulder. "You all got along fine?"

"Laugh for me." Mark said, Jack pulling back to look at him. 

"What?" He asked, a hesitant smile on his face, obviously confused.

"She told me you can imitate my laugh. I want to hear it."

Jack took a few steps back, a overly scandalized look on his face to make them all laugh. 

"Mom!" He protested. "I told you that in confidence!"

"Come on, it's cute."

"What else did you tell him?"

Mrs. McLoughlin just pursed her lips, Jack letting out a long sigh. 

"...fine. I'll do the laugh if you tell me what you told Mark."

"Deal." 

The imitation was spot on, Mark having to cover his face as Jack grinned triumphantly at him.

"Oh, shut up." Mark grumbled at him, Jack sitting on the couch next to him and elbowing him lightly. 

"Alright, now what did you tell him?" Jack insisted, and Mrs. McLoughlin told, but then continued on past what she had originally said, despite Jack's protests. 

"I'm never telling you anything ever again." Jack declared and his mother laughed, Mark unable to stop smiling. 

"And I hate you too." Jack told him, but there was so much affection in his voice that Mark couldn't help himself, pulling Jack close and giving him a quick kiss.

"How long did you talk about me yesterday?" Mark couldn't help but ask later that night, the two of them curled up together in bed.

"It wasn't me, they just kept asking."

Mark wasn't completely sure he bought that but didn't argue, letting Jack continue.

“Besides, I didn't think there would be any harm in gushing about you a little. This same 'getting-caught-with-my-heart-on-my-sleeve' thing had better happen to you if I ever have to meet your mom." 

“Oh, do you want some compliments now, Mr. Modesty?" Mark asked, Jack beginning to laugh. "Fine. Your eyes are pretty, your accent is adorable, you're a good kisser too, and--" 

"I'm blushing!" Jack exclaimed. He was still laughing, squirming a little under the comforter. "Shut up, Cute Butt McHandsome Face."

Mark chuckled, reaching across the mattress to pull Jack close. It was funny, sure, and it was all supposed to be for show, but that didn't keep Mark from closing his eyes and pretending, just for a moment, that maybe Jack liked his laugh, or his voice, or his smile. 

"Hey." Mark said, the following question out of his mouth before he had time to consider the consequences. "Can I kiss you?" 

Jack turned under the blankets, looking over his face for a moment. 

"For practice or for show?" He asked back. The question confused him at first, Mark realizing getting more comfortable with each other or showing off for the people that believed them were really the only acceptable reasons for any kind of physical contact. 

"Practice." He finally decided to say. He didn't feel like getting his phone out, and 'I think I'm falling for you' hadn't been an option. Jack grinned a bit, leaning in close. 

Jack's parents woke them up the next morning with a phone call, saying that it was their last day in town and they wanted to do something fun. Mark actually found himself a bit sad that they were leaving so soon; not only were they nice, good people that he had enjoyed getting to know, but this also meant he had to go back to living with Wade. He listened as Jack and his parents tried to work out what they wanted to spend the day doing, Jack glancing over at him once he'd hung up. 

"How good are you at ice skating?" 

"Good is... A subjective term." Mark finally answered, Jack letting out a laugh. "And probably an overstatement." 

"Well, get good." Jack said, pulling himself into a sitting position. "Because that's what we're doing today."

Mark wasn't that bad at ice skating, not really, but he sure felt that way as he watched Jack and his parents going around the rink. They obviously had much more experience at it than he did, but Jack kept him from feeling too left out, taking him by the hand and skating around with him. It was fun, feeling genuinely like a real date, and despite the chill in the air nipping at his face and the ache in his ankles, Mark found he didn't want it to end. 

"Okay, now spin me." Jack said, laughing. Mark had jokingly asked him to teach him an ice skating routine and Jack had risen to the challenge, making up moves on the spot. "Do you think you can do that? Without falling over?"

"Maybe." Mark answered truthfully, doubt on his face, and Jack seemed to change his mind. 

"I'll spin to you then. Just pull." He skated to about arm's length away, Mark holding his hand as he twirled in. He did quite well until the very end, his left foot catching on a snag in the ice, Mark having to stoop a bit to grab him. 

"Thanks." Jack muttered, placing a hand on Mark's chest to steady himself. They met eyes, and he paused for a moment. "Can I kiss you?"

Mark's heart leapt into his throat. 

"For practice or for show?" He decided to ask, Jack grinning to hear his own question pitched back to him.

"Show." He said. "My mom has a camera out." 

And sure enough she did, holding her phone up rather shamelessly in their direction, so Mark kissed him in the middle of the rink, Jack smiling against his lips.

Jack's parents said goodbye at the ice skating rink, saying they had a plane to catch soon and that they hadn't wanted any drawn out goodbyes. Hugs and cheek kisses were passed all around, Jack's mother putting her hands on Mark's shoulders and smiling at him, speaking so only he could hear. 

"Keep making him happy." She said, and Mark couldn't help the color that spread across his face. 

"I'll try." He promised, and after a few more hugs they were gone. The air somehow felt colder without them, and Jack seemed to agree, asking Mark if he wanted to stay longer or just go get some food. 

"Food." Mark said, already in the process of taking his ice skates off. He waltzed over to Jack when he was finished, stooping to kiss his cheek before holding out a hand.

"Want me to take your skates back for you?" 

Jack gave him a look, laughing a little. 

"My parents aren't here anymore." He said. "You don't have to keep pretending to like me."

Mark didn't even know how to classify the feeling in his chest at those words. It was strong, painful, and ugly, and he desperately hoped it wasn't showing on his face. 

"You never know who's watching." He responded, trying to pass it off with a laugh as Jack handed him his ice skates. He tried his best to shake the feeling off as he ate, knowing Jack was right. The week at Jack's apartment had been intoxicating; he couldn't let it affect the fact that this was all still a facade. 

  
  


Jack drove Mark to his own apartment after eating, dropping him off and saying he must have missed the place. In honesty Mark hadn't really, but he didn't feel like protesting, especially with Jack promising he would come over tomorrow with Mark's stuff, so he didn't have to haul all of it home himself. It felt a bit weird, sleeping all alone in his own bed, and Mark told Jack so the next day, with a mostly empty package of Chip's Ahoy cookies resting between them, controllers in their laps and 'GAME OVER' flashing on the TV screen.

"It was like that episode of Friends, when Joey and Ross napped together and it was the best nap they ever had. I had a hard time getting to sleep alone last night." He confessed, Jack laughing at him.

"So you miss me, huh?" He teased, Mark grinning a bit. 

"Maybe a little."

"Well, thanks for staying over." Jack told him. "You were really great. My parents really liked you, I think."

"I really liked them too." Mark said with a nod, and Jack smiled. "But tricking them made me feel kind of bad."

That made Jack laugh. "You feel bad telling my parents that we're dating, but not about lying to the entire student body?" 

"The student body aren't as nice as your parents." Mark told him, Jack hitting him on the shoulder for the flattery. "I'm serious! Plus, they think we've been dating for what, three years? Not a couple of months like everyone else does."

"I guess that's true." Jack said with a shrug, picking up another cookie. Mark glanced over at the box, seeing the four cookies that remained and sighing. Since the box had appeared in the pantry while he was gone, the cookies had to belong to his roommate, and he knew he would have to buy a replacement box. 

"We need to stop eating Wade's food." he said, picking up the box to move it away from their grabby hands. Jack whined in protest and reached over for one last one before Mark took them away, his arm stretched across Mark's chest, and it was almost as though he was begging to be tickled, the opportunity too good to be passed up. He got a string squeaked curses from Jack before he went on the offensive. It was extremely childish, to have a tickle fight in the living room like this, but Mark didn't much care, especially when Jack ending up in his lap, straddling Mark's hips with his knees and sitting back on his thighs. He was out of breath but still laughing, his eyes bright. 

"Can I kiss you?" Mark couldn't help but ask, and Jack laughed again, leaning in close.

"For practice or for show?" The question sounded almost teasing, and Mark couldn't help but grin.

"Practice." He said, but their lips had barely met before the front door of the apartment opened, the intruder letting out a shout.

"Oh jesus--sorry!" 

Mark expected to see Wade, but it was Bob standing there, shielding his eyes. 

"Oh... Hi." He said, unable to hold in a cheeky little grin when Bob had turned back to them but Jack still hadn't gotten out of his lap. His friend eyed them suspiciously. 

"Sorry to interrupt, I just didn't expect 'College Twink Triple X' to be happening in the living room."

"Really?" Mark asked back, Jack finally sitting back down on the couch. "I have the apartment to myself, my boyfriend's here, and you didn't expect us to be making out?" 

"Well, yeah." Bob said as though it were obvious. "Considering how fake you said this whole thing was." 

"What are you talking about?" He asked with a nervous chuckle, Jack sending him a look. He didn't think Bob could have heard them through the front door, and it would have been weird of him to have stood there for that long anyway.  As it turned out, none of it was really Bob's fault. 

"Mark, you're still butt-dialing me." He answered flatly, showing Mark his phone screen. Mark pulled his own phone out of his pocket, and sure enough he was somehow in a call with Bob, going on fifteen minutes. He quickly pressed 'end', Jack leaning forward and putting his face in his hands as sick fear spiked in Mark's stomach. There was no use in trying to lie to his friend; Mark could tell by Bob's face that he had heard everything they said, and wasn't going to accept any kind of explanation but the truth. 

"This isn't going to affect the bet at all, is it?" He began quickly. "Because you only said I had to win the class presidency, you didn't say how." 

"...what?" Bob asked after a moment. "What does pretending to date him have to do with the class presidency thing? What's going on?"

"It was Ryan's idea." Mark deflected quickly, Jack trying to explain.

“Mark gave me shoes and asked me to get him popular, that's all." He said. "And we've just been... Pretending."

"You're still pretending?" Bob asked, pointing back and forth between them. Mark could feel his face flaring up. "You two were kissing like that, and you're still pretending?" He looked at Mark, an understanding expression dawning on his face, his voice accusatory. "You like him, don't you?" 

"Like him?" Mark asked. The question came out sounding more abrasive and incredulous in tone than he meant it to, but he couldn't help it; constricting panic was creeping up his throat when Jack glanced over at him. "Wha--no! Of course not!" He spluttered over his words, hating the way both of them were looking at him. "We just have a deal going, that's all. I don't actually like Jack."

"Mark, I'm not--" Bob began, looking a bit alarmed, but he was cut off by Jack getting to his feet, an expression on his face one Mark had never seen before, and it made him instantly feel as though he deserved to drop dead.

"Since you suddenly hate me so much, I guess I should go." Jack said, grabbing his phone off the couch, pushing past Bob to get to the door. 

"Jack, wait--"

"No, Mark." The venom in his eyes stopped Mark in his tracks. "And next time you want to hang out with me, make sure and tell me it's as a complete last resort."

He slammed the door behind himself, the resulting silence heavy. Mark ran his hands roughly through his hair, getting to his feet and pacing the room. A sickening feeling was sinking in his stomach, torn on whether or not he should chase after Jack. He didn't know what he would say if he did though, feeling stuck. He had been able to tell that while he was talking he was putting his foot in his mouth, but he had felt so panicked with Bob looking at him like that and hadn't been able to shut up. Bob was looking at him now, watching him walk around the room.

"So... You heard everything then?" Mark asked him. 

"I'm not sure I know what everything is." Bob answered. "But the whole thing about the only pretending to date... I think I got that part."

Mark just nodded to himself. "You're not going to tell anyone, are you?"

"I don't have a reason to." Bob gave him a look, one that was strangely sympathetic and somehow made him feel worse. "Mark... It's okay if you like Jack. You know that, right?" 

"I don't--" Mark began, but Bob cut him off. 

"I'm changing the forfeit. You don't have to shave your head anymore. If you lose, you have to tell Jack how you feel." 

Mark sat back down on the couch, not looking in Bob's direction.

"Now is Wade here? We were supposed to hang out."

Mark just shook his head, putting his face in his hands. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously need a phrase that's not "thank you" because I sound like a broken record but honestly, thank you all so much! Everyone's been nothing but nice and I could not be more grateful ♡ I hope everyone likes the last chapter!!

Jack wouldn’t talk to him. He didn’t answer any texts, didn’t answer any calls. He acted unaffected on his radio show though, happy and chipper as usual, and Mark hoped that maybe it was a good sign; after a few days of no responses, he realized that it wasn’t. He even tried to tweet at Jack a few times, knowing that it was a painfully visible platform and that he needed to be careful, but even that got him nowhere. He wasn’t really sure what needed to be said if he finally got Jack’s attention, truth be told, but he knew he needed to apologize. Nothing would get fixed if they didn’t talk, and Jack was making that incredibly difficult. After wracking his brains, Mark finally had an idea. **  
**

It was a terrible idea, truly, and he didn’t want to do it, but he figured that meant it was probably the right way to go, considering that feeling was what had started this whole thing in the first place as well. So as soon as he had a free hour, he headed down to the hair salon near campus.

“I would like to dye my hair, please.”

The woman just looked at him for a moment, and Mark hastened to explain. Her expression didn’t change much but she nodded, smacking her gum loudly and reaching down for a few choice bottles to get started.

It took a few more hours than he thought it would, and the hairdresser’s complete lack of input or conversation didn’t do much to help the apprehensive dread stewing in his stomach when he thought about the outcome. All he could do was hope that whatever it ended up looking like, good or bad, it would be drastic enough to get Jack to answer a text message.

“Done.” The lady deadpanned, setting her blow dryer down, her voice thick with a jersey accent. “Did you want to look at your hair or not?”

Stomach twisting, Mark lifted his eyes from where he’d kept his hands in his lap, slowly meeting his gaze in the mirror. He had asked her to dye his hair red, Jack’s favorite color, and in a style to match Jack’s green, and… He loved it.

He’d thought he would hate it. It would be loud and bright and would completely destroy his hair–though truth be told, it had done a little bit of that already–but he didn’t care. The color suited him, and he looked good. Now he just needed Jack’s attention.

_@Jack_Septic_Eye c'mon baby, talk to me._

The tweet wasn’t too genuine of an attempt, and as he expected Jack didn’t tweet him back, but after three minutes and to his great surprise, he got a text.

_From: Jackaroonie  
Next time you try to get my attention in front of everyone, how about you don’t use my least favorite pet name_

The words were snarky and biting, but somehow Mark couldn’t find it in himself to care, feeling elation in the fact that he’d even gotten a reply at all.

_To: Jackaroonie  
Jack! I need to talk to you._

When Jack didn’t answer, Mark decided to just go ahead.

_To: Jackaroonie  
I’m sorry. I’m a piece of shit, and I shouldn’t have said any of what I did, and I hope you know I didn’t mean it. I was just… I don’t know. I don’t know why I said that._

Still no answer.

_To: Jackaroonie  
And I wanted to make it up to you, so… I need your opinion on something._

Finally, thankfully, Jack answered.

_From: Jackaroonie  
What?_

_To: Jackaroonie  
How do I look?_

He attached a photo of his new hair, with an expression that was probably a little too sultry to be appropriate, but he didn’t care. There was silence for a few seconds, then…

_From: Jackaroonie  
…fuck_

To: Jackaroonie  
Is that good or bad?

He sent another selfie, with a bit of a lip bite this time. He was enjoying this more than he knew he should, considering he was supposed to be begging for forgiveness, but he figured that as long as Jack didn’t get mad at him, it was fine.

_From: Jackaroonie  
Don’t you dare think your amazing fucking looks are going to get you out of this. I’m still pissed off._

_To: Jackaroonie  
Do you want to see it in person?_

_From: Jackaroonie  
As long as I don’t have to go anywhere._

So Mark made the trek to Jack’s apartment, the door opening as soon as he knocked, Jack standing in the middle of the doorway. Mark tried to walk in but Jack blocked him, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed when Mark finally stopped trying to sidestep him.

“Hey.” Mark finally said, feeling all sorts of awkward and sheepish.

“It’s… It’s really red.”

“…yeah.” Mark gave him a hopeful glance. “Do you like it?”

Jack looked at his feet, but Mark could spot a small smile on his face.

“Yeah. It looks good.” He answered, glancing back up. “You look really good.”

Mark couldn’t help but grin.

“Thanks.”

Jack stepped back, letting Mark come inside. He wasn’t sure what to do once he stepped in, feeling Jack’s eyes on him.

“What?” He finally asked.

“It’s really red.” Jack said again, and Mark laughed a little.

“Yeah, I got it done this morning.” He grinned. “I like it, but I wanted your opinion before I showed it to anyone else.”

“Oh, really? No one else has seen it yet?” Jack smiled again, Mark giving himself a mental pat on the back. This had been the right thing to do. They sat together on the couch and Mark was silent for a moment, letting Jack’s eyes travel over him before he spoke again.

“Listen, I’m so, so sor–”

Jack cut him off with a long sigh, looking up at the ceiling with a slightly exasperated expression. Mark just went quiet, sure he was about to be yelled at and bracing himself. Whatever Jack was about to say to him, he doubtlessly deserved it.

“Shut up Mark. I know you are.”

“W-what?” Mark couldn’t help but ask, completely disbelieving. He had expected the worst, but Jack wasn’t even going to bite at him. Then he narrowed his eyes. “Is this because of the hair?”

“No!” Jack exclaimed immediately. “You’ve apologizes multiple times, and you sound sincere enough for me to believe that you won’t do something this stupid for at least, like… A month or so.” He said with a shrug, and Mark smiled. “So I forgive you.” Then he gave Mark a once over. “And… The hair is helping.”

That made Mark laugh, and even Jack was chuckling a little, meeting his eyes with a smile.

“Should I show it off to the rest of the world then?” Mark asked, getting his phone out and pulling up the twitter app. Then he paused, glancing in Jack’s direction until he looked back.

“What?”

Mark knew this might be pushing it, but it wouldn’t hurt to try.

“Can I kiss you?”

Jack was silent for a moment.

“For practice or for show?” He finally asked.

“For show. I need to show everyone else how gorgeous my hair and my boyfriend are.”

Jack couldn’t help but chuckle, shaking his head.

“You’re the worst.” He said, but he scooted closer to Mark on the couch, and the contact felt like forgiveness, Mark unable not to smile. He opened his camera, leaned in, and kissed Jack on the cheek for the picture.

“I thought you were going to kiss me.” Jack said after the tweet had been sent out, Mark looking over at him.

“I did, didn’t I?” He asked back innocently. “I kissed you on the cheek.”

“Okay, sure, but…”

“What, do you want me to kiss you again?” Mark asked, grinning, and Jack turned pink.

“You can shut up–” He began, but Mark leaned in, capturing his lips instead, reveling in the way Jack melted into his arms.

 

  
There were two weeks until the election, and Mark was starting to feel the heat. He had no way of knowing whether he was ahead of Ken or not, but he felt he might be, and he wasn’t sure if that prospect scared or excited him. But he was sitting next to Ken now, back in the broadcasting room with a pair of headphones around his neck. They were in the radio station, sitting across from Jack, about to have a “final debate” of sorts before the last week of campaigning. Jack smiled at the both of them, and then the program started.

“Top of the mornin’ to you laddies!” He exclaimed brightly, and Mark smiled. “I have the two candidates back with me today, to talk more about what benefits all of you will get if you elect them. That being said, I won’t be opening up the phone lines today–I tweeted out about what questions you people out there wanted answered and I picked out the best ones, so you all can listen to the entire thing without any interruptions.” Then he turned his attention across the table, pointing finger guns at them. “Are you two ready?”

“Yes!” Ken exclaimed, Mark giving a similar response so the listeners could hear his voice. Then the debate began.

It was much, much easier the second time around. He knew both Jack and Ken better, and had been on the radio before, so not everything was new and confusing. The questions coming from Jack and not people calling in was also a huge bonus, and he’d had more time to think of what it was he wanted to do if he were to be elected, so the answers also came easier.

The debate wrapped up sooner than time for the radio show did, and that left them with a little time to spare. The broadcast had been a breeze up until now, so Mark wasn’t concerned when Ken opened his mouth to fill some time.

“I’ve got a question for you now, Jack.” Ken said, leaning in and smiling. Jack leaned back.

“What?” He asked.

“There’s been a rumor going around on twitter.” He began. “People have noticed the amount of tweets that Mark has sent you that you haven’t responded to, and they think that the two of you had a fight. Is that true?”

“Uh…” Jack glanced in Mark’s direction, but their stalling was already enough of an answer, so Jack sighed.

“Yeah, we had a little bit of a fight.” He said. “It’s nothing now, though. We’ve gotten past it.”

“Oh? What was it about?” Ken asked. It was innocent curiosity, but Jack began floundering. They couldn’t say what they had actually fought about, and Jack turned to Mark to answer.

“W-well, see…” Mark wracked his brains, thinking fast, trying to come up with some bullshit trivial thing they could have fought about. He needed a complete lie. “Jack’s parents–”

“My parents?!” Jack’s voice was full of offense and anger as he cut Mark off, disbelieving. “You’re blaming my parents?”

“No, I–”

“Woah, hey, just forget I asked. Seriously.” Ken said quickly, waving his hands in front of his body in a dismissive manner, a nervous smile on his face. “Looks like you’re not quite over it. Let’s stay cool, guys.”

“Please audience, enjoy this song.” Jack said flatly, without even introducing what song he was about to play, putting the music on before jumping from his seat. He pulled Mark up too, leaving the room.

“Jack, the broadcast–” Mark began, but Jack wasn’t listening.

“I put on three minutes of music, so we have three minutes to talk. Now talk. What the hell were you about to blame my parents for?”

“Nothing!” Mark said defensively. “Really! I couldn’t just say the real reason for our argument, could I? I was just going to make something up.”

“You couldn’t have just done something simple, like say you fucked up but it’s all fine now?” Jack asked, and in spite of himself, Mark felt anger flaring in his chest.

“Is it fine though, Jack?” He asked back, not bothering to keep his voice down. “Is it? I tried to talk to you for a week after I screwed up, and you ignored me. I was trying so hard to fix things, but there wasn’t anything I could do. I had to dye my damn hair to get you to talk to me, for god’s sake! Does that sound like ‘fine’ to you?”

Jack fell silent for a long moment, not answering the question, just staring at his feet. His hands were balled into fists, but Mark couldn’t tell if he was upset or if he was angry.

“I thought you liked my parents.” He finally said. His voice had gone soft. “I thought you liked me.”

He pushed past Mark and reentered the broadcasting room, Ken sitting alone and looking painfully awkward. Mark walked in too, putting his headphones on just in time to hear the song ending. Jack put on his radio DJ voice, a smile on his face, the knowledge that he was faking making Mark frown.

“Unfortunately, that’s all the time we have. I’d like to thank the two candidates for coming in,” He gestured in Ken’s direction, who also thanked the audience, “And I want to remind you all of the public forum the two of them will be having on Friday, right before the election, to get to any and all questions that may not have been covered by this broadcast. See all of you Monday!”

The last song began playing, Jack all but throwing his headphones on the table as he got up and left the room. Mark watched him go, again unsure of what to do, and it left him in there alone with Ken, a silence falling over them that was a bit painful.

“I have no idea what kind of gig you guys have going.” Ken said after a moment. “I mean, I know it isn’t real–I overheard you two talking right before the holiday break started–”

Mark looked at him sharply, surprised that the candidate hadn’t said anything.

“–but besides that, I have no idea what’s going on between the two of you. All I do know is that Jack went from the happiest I’ve ever seen him to the most upset, and I have a funny feeling it has something to do with you. So you’d better fix it.” Ken got to his feet, Mark reminded in that moment how tall, and hairy, and beefy Ken was. “Or I’ll have to kick your ass so hard your grandchildren will be spitting out shoelaces.”

Then he walked out, leaving Mark alone in the recording studio.

 

  
Mark didn’t know how he was supposed to quote-unquote “fix it”. He’d tried. He’d tried apologizing, he’d tried talking–he’d fucking dyed his hair red, for god’s sake–but he couldn’t seem to keep Jack from blowing up at him. He couldn’t make Jack happy anymore, but as it was, his campaign was coming to a close anyway. He pulled out an umbrella, rain pelting down on him as he made his way to the teaching theater where the final questionnaire was being held. Maybe their relationship had just run its course. Mark didn’t really need Jack or their relationship anymore, with elections only two days away, and Jack didn’t need him either, his parents having come and gone. As sick to his stomach as it made him feel, maybe it was just time for them to end it.

When Mark arrived and saw the group of students standing there, ready to hear himself and Ken speak, he realized he didn’t want this presidency thing either. He never really had; he’d just wanted to prove a point. But he was tired. He didn’t care what Bob changed the forfeit to be; he would just shave his head. That would be good enough. Jack obviously didn’t love him, so anything Mark told him wouldn’t matter.

He got up behind one of the podiums, Ken behind the other one, Mark watching the candidate smile and wave as greeted everyone. Mark tried to do the same but it felt forced, and he just swallowed, looking down at his mic. A microphone was passed into the crowd, and the questioning began.

The event dragged but Mark was distracted the entire time, unsure of what to do, and finally he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Sorry, sorry to interrupt, but I have something I want to say.” Mark said loudly, during a pause in one of Ken’s sentences. A ball of nerves was wound tightly in his stomach, and the woman that had been passing around the mic paused, a hush falling over the crowd as everyone looked over at him. “I’m afraid…” He rubbed his hands together, swallowing. “I’m going to have to drop out of this election. I haven’t exactly been honest with everyone.”

Murmurs spread through the crowd like wildfire, and Ken was staring at him as though he had lost his head, Mark waiting for the talking to die down before he spoke again.

“I never truly wanted to run for president. I was going to genuinely do my best if I did get elected, of course, but it just doesn’t feel right to keep going with this anymore. I was never really dating Jack.”

That got a huge reaction, the voices of the crowd rising up. Ken definitely thought he had lost it now, his expression nothing short of incredulous as he looked over at him.

“I just needed a way to get my name out there, and Jack needed a fake boyfriend for his parents, so we came to an agreement.” Mark said, wanting to explain it all as briefly as he could and get out of there; the murmuring was becoming more and more aggressive. “We never truly were a couple. Sorry to disappoint everyone.”

A good amount of people were disappointed, angry voices heard above the crowd. Mark pulled back, his eyes down on the wood of the podium, not wanting to look out at them.

“That being said, I will now be stepping down from the consideration for presidency. Best of luck to Ken on the following year.”

He stepped down and exited the stage, angry voices chasing him as he went. It was raining much harder now, the drops fat and heavy against his umbrella, the sound a welcome distraction from the thoughts running through his head as he made his way home. He barely paid attention to where he was going, letting his feet carry him to his apartment, unlocking the door, closing it behind him as soon as he was inside and leaning against the wood. He closed his eyes, letting his umbrella drop to the floor.

“Mark?” Came a voice after a moment of silence. “Are you okay?”

Mark opened his eyes to see Bob and Wade, sitting on the couch. He hadn’t noticed them when he walked in, too distracted, and now he felt a bit embarrassed, sighing a bit as he bent to pick up his umbrella.

“Yeah, yeah. I just…” He trailed off, waving a hand. Bob raised his phone from his lap.

“We saw.” He answered. “Someone was streaming you and Ken on twitter.”

“Oh.” Mark mumbled, walking to his room to put his umbrella away.

“Are you okay Mark? What happened? What’s going on?” Wade asked, his face full of concern. “Why did you say you weren’t dating Jack?”

It took Mark a moment to remember that Wade still didn’t know.

“Because I’m not.” He deadpanned. “I never was.”

“But you two were so great together!” Wade protested, a hurt expression on his face. Bob nodded.

“Well Mark likes him, so I changed the forfeit.” He began, and Mark glared at him.

“Shut up Bob. I’m just shaving my head, alright? But that’s it. You’ll have to accept it.”

Bob opened his mouth to respond but a heavy knock on the door interrupted him, all three of them turning to look.

“Are you expecting anyone?” Wade asked, just as another set of loud bangs were heard, accompanied by yelling.

“Mark, open the damn door! We have to talk!”

It was Jack, his voice loud and angry, and Mark knew this wasn’t something he could ignore, walking over to the door and pulling it open.

Jack was drenched to the bone from the rain but it didn’t seem to bother him in the slightest, his eyes bright with anger, his hands balled into fists.

“What the fuck was that?” He spat, and Mark knew he was talking about dropping out of the race. “You just made everything we just did completely useless, you’re going to have to shave your head now and I have to face all my listeners on Monday with this shit! Why the hell did you do that?”

“What was the point in going on with it?” Mark asked back, his voice rising to match Jack’s, the yelling riling him up. “The election is going to be over in two days, and I never wanted the presidency anyway.”

“You didn’t have to say all of that stuff, you could have just backed out.” Jack answered. “Damn it, Mark! I thought this whole thing was for the fucking election.”

“It was at first, sure!” Mark sighed, running his hands through his hair. “But now I’m just pissing you off every time I opened my mouth, and damn it, Jack…” This had the sickening feeling of a breakup all over it, and it made him trail off. Jack’s expression had softened when Mark finally met his eyes.

“What?” He asked.

“I like you so much…” Jack broke eye contact and Mark’s heart sank, wanting to just finish speaking and get away as quickly as possible. “And that’s fucked everything up because obviously you don’t feel the same, so I thought it would be best to break it all off at once and just… Get it over with.”

“You are so goddamn stupid.” Jack murmured, and when he looked back at Mark he had a small, almost-smile on his face, stepping forward quickly to wrap his arms around Mark’s neck. Mark didn’t realize until a split second before it happened that Jack was about to kiss him, bringing him as close as he could. He was stunned, confused, but mostly relieved, and when Jack drew back his smile had grown, letting out a breath and holding Mark’s face in his hands.

“I…” It took Mark a moment to find his words. “I don’t–What?”

“Of course I love you, you huge red lump!” Jack said with a laugh. “We definitely need to talk about it, but… Could I borrow some clothes? I’m freezing.”

Mark looked over Jack, realizing all over again that he was still wet, shivering a little, and he nodded, stepping back and pointing to his room. Jack gave him a departing smile as he walked, Mark smiling stupidly back, the expression still there as he turned to face his friends. Bob had his phone held up, obviously recording the interaction that just took place, and Wade had the softest, mushiest expression that Mark had ever seen.

“Forfeit complete.” Bob told him, setting his phone down. Wade brought his hands up to his mouth, his voice coming between his fingers.

“You’re perfect for each other!” He squeaked, and Mark wanted to give him an annoyed glance, but he was smiling too hard to do much of anything else. He wasn’t sure, really, what was going on, but Jack said he loved him. Jack had kissed him.

Jack stepped back into the living room, ruffling his hair, water droplets flinging out from between his fingers. He was in a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, all of them Mark’s and all of them a bit too big, and as Jack met his eyes, a smile playing on his lips, his eyes bright, Mark felt his heart melt and implode all at once.

“Stop it.” Jack told him, and Mark could see his cheeks reddening.

“What?” Mark asked, stepping over to him.

“Stop looking at me like that.” Jack told him, and Mark couldn’t help himself, pulling Jack in and kissing him, the force of his affection having Jack stumbling back and laughing against his lips. Mark didn’t want them in the sight of his friends anymore, sweeping Jack off his feet and closing the door behind them. He tossed Jack onto his bed, getting another laugh, Jack beckoning him close and wrapping his arms around Mark’s neck, kissing him again.

“We need to talk.” Jack repeated, and Mark hummed in agreement.

“In a moment.” He murmured, kissing him again. He knew Jack was right though, and after a few more kisses he pulled back, sitting back on Jack’s thighs.

“You look cute in my clothes.” He said, and Jack beamed at him, covering his face with his hands.

“Shut up.” Jack gave him an annoyed look between his fingers, but Mark could tell he was smiling.

“Okay, okay.” Mark said, trying to tone down the smile on his face. Their conversation needed to be taken seriously, and he knew that, letting out a sigh. “Let’s talk.”

 

  
“Top of the morning to you laddies!” Jack exclaimed, his voice loud and happy, and Mark reached over, squeezing his thigh, Jack glaring in his direction and swatting at his hand. Mark turned away from his mic, trying not to laugh, and Jack rolled his eyes. “I know everyone saw what happened at the debate last Friday, and I know everyone has a lot of questions, so I have a special guest on the show today! Say hi, Mark.”

“Hello everybody.” Mark said, his voice full of unnecessary bravado, Jack giggling at him and hitting him in the arm.

“Shut up.” He murmured, and Mark laughed at him.

“We wanted to explain the whole relationship-presidency-dating fiasco.” Mark began, Jack nodding along to his words. “We spent the weekend talking–for the most part, that is–” Jack hit his arm again “–and as it turns out, we’re both stupid.”

“Yes.” Jack chimed in. “Everything Mark said at the debate was true; we were pretending to date each other. But… After a while, we just…”

“He couldn’t resist me.”  Mark said grandly, and Jack laughed.

“Yeah, shut up.” Jack gave him a look, and Mark just smirked back. “What he means is… We ended up…” He looked as though he was struggling with phrasing, his face turning pink, and Mark couldn’t help but smile, leaning close to the mic to chime in.

“He’s in love with me.”

“Mark!” Jack protested, his face reddening.

“What? I just say that because I… You know…”

“Say it.” Jack insisted. Then, into the microphone, “His face is so red right now.”

“Because I love you too.” The words all came out of his mouth quickly but Jack didn’t press him, just smiling.

“To sum up, we weren’t dating before, but we are now.” Jack finished, and Mark nodded along.

“We met the way Jack said, the whole waffle stranger thing…” Mark couldn’t help but laugh a little; so much had happened, and it felt so long ago. “And talked and agreed to date and everything, but when did you realize you liked me?”

Jack shot him a look, as though to ask if he was serious about asking such an embarrassing question over the air. When Mark nodded, Jack let his head fall back, groaning a bit.

“Well, it’s no secret that I’ve always thought you were cute.” Jack began, Mark unable not to grin. “But I think… I think I actually started liking you when you snuck up behind me on our first date and held my hand.”

“That soon?” Mark yelped in surprise, feeling a blush spread all over his face. Jack nodded. “Well great, now I’m just going to look like an asshole.”

“When was it for you?”

“Our first kiss.”

Jack’s jaw fell open. “The Halloween party?” He asked, his voice slightly hushed, and Mark shook his head quickly.

“No. No! When we kissed in front of Ken, after our first time on the radio together.”

“Oh. Because I’m such a great kisser.” Jack responded smugly, and Mark couldn’t even deny it.

“I mean, it might have been before that–I know for a fact I felt something that one time you kissed me on the nose–” Jack thought back for a moment, trying to remember the instance Mark was referring to, his face lighting up when he did “–but the kiss was when I really realized it, I guess.”

He trailed off, Jack telling the listeners that they were taking questions about their relationship in an attempt to explain themselves and putting a song on. He stood Mark up from his chair when the song started playing, pulling him in close and hopping up to sit on the table.

“Hold on,” Mark said with a smile as Jack leaned in for a kiss. “I thought we weren’t supposed to make out in the recording studio.”

Jack’s hands fell to Mark’s waist, playing with the hem of his shirt, slipping under and stroking the warm skin with his fingertips.

“I’ll take my chances.”


End file.
